I am a Detroit Lions fan. "We" did not win a game this season. Since starting the 2007 season 6-2, the Lions have lost 23 of their last 24 games. Futility of that nature is unprecedented in professional sports. I am biased, but I have watched a lot of pro football over the past two decades and the 2008 Lions are definitely NOT the worst team I've ever seen (no, I can't specifically name a worse team off the top of my head). The Lions lost 8 games by 10 points or less this season. Obviously, they will have the first pick of the 2009 NFL Draft, and they can use help at just about every position (except wide receiver -- don't take another receiver). I expect them to take either a quarterback (Matthew Stafford or Sam Bradford), an offensive lineman, or a defensive lineman. They finally fired Matt Millen as general manager so there is nowhere but up to go in that position. Today, they fired head coach Rod Marinelli -- I don't blame all of the team's struggles on Marinelli, but you have to get fired when your squad goes 0-16.
It is a difficult time to be a Lions fan, but - believe it or not - it might be a harder time to be a New England Patriots fan. Sure, they have 3 Super Bowl championships this decade, but they have had some bad luck in 2008. First, they lost to an inferior team in the Super Bowl and blew the rare opportunity to go 19-0. Even in a losing effort, you could argue that the 2007 Patriots were the best team ever. Then, Tom Brady injured his knee in the first game of the 2008 season and missed the entire season. His backup, Matt Cassell, looked great at times this season and finished the year strong for the Pats. However, due to some weird circumstances and unfavorable tiebreakers, the Pats went 11-5 and still missed the playoffs. You could argue they are the best team ever to not make the playoffs. The Pats are a veteran team, and their window for success is shrinking every year. The Pats will likely have to part ways with Cassell this offseason as well -- they will get Brady back, but Cassell has a chance to be a solid starting QB in the league. The new GM for the Lions should call Cassell's agent today. Dan Orlovsky should find a new job.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Is Stephen Curry Overrated?
In a word: no. Stephen Curry is the best player in the Southern Conference since Jerry West (when West Virginia was in the SoCon). Offensively, he is as good as anyone I've seen in college hoops this decade (J.J. Redick was a better shooter but Curry can create his own shot and is a better all-around offensive player). Is there anyone else you would want to take a big shot in crunch time? He is not a true point guard, but he can handle the rock, pass, and make his teammates better. He takes a lot of shots, but he is not a ball hog. Against Loyola (Maryland), he was double-teamed the entire game so he essentially stood in the corner and let his teammates play 4 on 3 -- Curry only took 3 shots that game and Davidson won by 30. The fact that Curry will likely play shooting guard in the NBA makes it even more impressive that he was willing to play point guard this year for Davidson, after last year's starting point guard Jason Richard graduated. I do not think Davidson can make a March Madness run like they did last season (Elite 8). Not only did they have a few bounces go their way during the tourney last season, the team was better last year. They will miss Jason Richard running the point, controlling the game, and distributing the ball to Curry running off screens. Curry is great, but Davidson is asking him to do too much this season. Although I believe Davidson was a better TEAM last season, Curry is a better player this year than he was last season. Apparently he went to skills camps run by Steve Nash, Chris Paul, and LeBron James last summer. He should be a lock for 1st Team All-American. Even still, I am little surprised he is getting so much hype.
As a Virginia fan, I love that Virginia Tech did not offer Stephen a scholarship. Let me get this straight Hokie Nation -- one of the best basketball players in Virginia Tech history, Dell Curry, marries a former Virginia Tech women's volleyball standout and you don't offer their son a basketball scholarship? I know Curry was even smaller in high school, but he was all-state. He didn't come completely out of nowhere. Virginia Tech coach Seth Greenberg offered Curry a chance to walk on the team, but he could not spare a scholarship. Good call, Seth. Ralph Sampson's son could be the biggest stiff in high school basketball history, and I'm pretty sure UVa would give him a scholarship.
As much as I have raved about Steph Curry, I am not sold on his ability to play at the next level. In my opinion, he is not a prototypical point guard. If he plays shooting guard in the NBA, he will be matching up with much bigger and taller players. Curry is 6'3'' but he will have trouble defending the likes of Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade, Brandon Roy, and other shooting guards. Offensively, Curry's quick release and ability to create his own shot make up for his slight build and average height (for a baller). He may be able to play the role of a scoring point guard - similar to rookie Mario Chalmers in Miami - in which he could guard the opposing team's point guard, bring the ball up the floor, and then run off screens for his own shots. Regardless of what position he plays, I do not think he is a top 10 pick.
Since I much prefer college basketball to the NBA, I am not as concerned as most people about Curry's future in the NBA. I hope he comes back to Davidson next year for his senior year. It is nice to watch somebody that knows how to play the game. I heard somewhere that if he comes back for his senior year and maintains the same scoring average for the rest of his career, he will end up as second all-time leading scorer in NCAA basketball history (behind "Pistol" Pete Maravich). While others debate whether Curry is a lottery pick in the NBA, I will enjoy watching him play college ball.
As a Virginia fan, I love that Virginia Tech did not offer Stephen a scholarship. Let me get this straight Hokie Nation -- one of the best basketball players in Virginia Tech history, Dell Curry, marries a former Virginia Tech women's volleyball standout and you don't offer their son a basketball scholarship? I know Curry was even smaller in high school, but he was all-state. He didn't come completely out of nowhere. Virginia Tech coach Seth Greenberg offered Curry a chance to walk on the team, but he could not spare a scholarship. Good call, Seth. Ralph Sampson's son could be the biggest stiff in high school basketball history, and I'm pretty sure UVa would give him a scholarship.
As much as I have raved about Steph Curry, I am not sold on his ability to play at the next level. In my opinion, he is not a prototypical point guard. If he plays shooting guard in the NBA, he will be matching up with much bigger and taller players. Curry is 6'3'' but he will have trouble defending the likes of Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade, Brandon Roy, and other shooting guards. Offensively, Curry's quick release and ability to create his own shot make up for his slight build and average height (for a baller). He may be able to play the role of a scoring point guard - similar to rookie Mario Chalmers in Miami - in which he could guard the opposing team's point guard, bring the ball up the floor, and then run off screens for his own shots. Regardless of what position he plays, I do not think he is a top 10 pick.
Since I much prefer college basketball to the NBA, I am not as concerned as most people about Curry's future in the NBA. I hope he comes back to Davidson next year for his senior year. It is nice to watch somebody that knows how to play the game. I heard somewhere that if he comes back for his senior year and maintains the same scoring average for the rest of his career, he will end up as second all-time leading scorer in NCAA basketball history (behind "Pistol" Pete Maravich). While others debate whether Curry is a lottery pick in the NBA, I will enjoy watching him play college ball.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Making Fun of Comedians
GUEST BLOG BY BDF:
I always think it is funny when comedians make fun of people in general. White people who walk really fast, the fat guy at the buffet, the Asian who speaks in broken English, the list goes on and
on. The other day I was listening to Chris Rock rant on and on about white teenagers, and I thought what if I was a standup comic who only made fun of other comedians? Here goes!
Dane Cook – Dane, how does it feel to have a fan base of 14-17 year olds? Watching your standup inspired me to write this blog. At least one good thing came out of it. God knows it didn't make me laugh. You're the N'Sync of comedy; you may sell lots of albums and tickets, but the material is miserable and no one else in your field respects your work. Why don't you take your SuperFinger and stick it in your....mouth. This way, you'll be unable to talk.
Carlos Mencia – Carlos Mencia, that funny Mexican guy. Or should I say Ned Mencia, from Honduras? I'd make fun of you in more detail, but I fear you'd just steal my material Menstelia.
Larry the Cable Guy – Dan Whitney from Nebraska created a character for a radio show and fooled a million morons from Alabama, Mississippi and Louisiana into thinking he was funny. I'm from the South and would personally like to punch Dan for setting back Southerners 40 years. This guy is a fat piece of shit right here, I don't care who ya are.
David Cross – David, your performance as Tobias Funke is one of my all time favorites. I once read that you'd rather hear the death rattle of your own child than the songs of the bands Creed, Staind, and POD. While I agree that those bands are terrible, you date the girl from Joan of Arcadia and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Guess you like music way more than television and movies.
Carrot Top – When I first saw Carrot Top in the mid nineties, I thought "could this guy be more of a douche"? Turns out he could. Between then and now CT has become a bulked up 'roid freak and a devout plastic surgery patient. Carrot's gone from a skinny dork with prop jokes to a phony meathead with the same prop jokes.
Bill Engvall – You're Jeff Foxworthy minus the "You might be a Redneck" jokes. Translation, your comedy blows. One the bright side, you look a little like Mark Harmon. Fingers crosses that NCIS does a episode in which Gibbs' brother makes an appearance.
Janeane Garofalo – You've made a lot of money ranting about how ugly women can't make it in show biz. I can't tell if you're being intentionally ironic or you hate yourself because you don't look like Jessica Alba. I am guessing it's not the latter, as I've never seen anyone intentionally try so hard to look so awful. You also referred to your time on SNL as being like "the Indian given the blanket infected with smallpox by the cavalry." You worked at SNL, not Kmart, get over yourself.
I always think it is funny when comedians make fun of people in general. White people who walk really fast, the fat guy at the buffet, the Asian who speaks in broken English, the list goes on and
on. The other day I was listening to Chris Rock rant on and on about white teenagers, and I thought what if I was a standup comic who only made fun of other comedians? Here goes!
Dane Cook – Dane, how does it feel to have a fan base of 14-17 year olds? Watching your standup inspired me to write this blog. At least one good thing came out of it. God knows it didn't make me laugh. You're the N'Sync of comedy; you may sell lots of albums and tickets, but the material is miserable and no one else in your field respects your work. Why don't you take your SuperFinger and stick it in your....mouth. This way, you'll be unable to talk.
Carlos Mencia – Carlos Mencia, that funny Mexican guy. Or should I say Ned Mencia, from Honduras? I'd make fun of you in more detail, but I fear you'd just steal my material Menstelia.
Larry the Cable Guy – Dan Whitney from Nebraska created a character for a radio show and fooled a million morons from Alabama, Mississippi and Louisiana into thinking he was funny. I'm from the South and would personally like to punch Dan for setting back Southerners 40 years. This guy is a fat piece of shit right here, I don't care who ya are.
David Cross – David, your performance as Tobias Funke is one of my all time favorites. I once read that you'd rather hear the death rattle of your own child than the songs of the bands Creed, Staind, and POD. While I agree that those bands are terrible, you date the girl from Joan of Arcadia and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Guess you like music way more than television and movies.
Carrot Top – When I first saw Carrot Top in the mid nineties, I thought "could this guy be more of a douche"? Turns out he could. Between then and now CT has become a bulked up 'roid freak and a devout plastic surgery patient. Carrot's gone from a skinny dork with prop jokes to a phony meathead with the same prop jokes.
Bill Engvall – You're Jeff Foxworthy minus the "You might be a Redneck" jokes. Translation, your comedy blows. One the bright side, you look a little like Mark Harmon. Fingers crosses that NCIS does a episode in which Gibbs' brother makes an appearance.
Janeane Garofalo – You've made a lot of money ranting about how ugly women can't make it in show biz. I can't tell if you're being intentionally ironic or you hate yourself because you don't look like Jessica Alba. I am guessing it's not the latter, as I've never seen anyone intentionally try so hard to look so awful. You also referred to your time on SNL as being like "the Indian given the blanket infected with smallpox by the cavalry." You worked at SNL, not Kmart, get over yourself.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Ramblings
- I am watching the ACC Championship Game (
I was harsh on the ACC early in the year, but the conference ended up solid (if unspectacular) from top to bottom. The SEC, on the other hand, is very top heavy. The ACC had 10 teams either tied or within one game of the division lead. 10 teams! I hate the word “parity” when talking about football – but the ACC had parity this year. The ACC has 10 bowl-eligible teams, compared to 8 in the SEC. The two teams that are not bowl-eligible in the ACC - UVa and Duke - were not easy outs for anyone either. UVa beat four bowl-eligible teams in October alone (and then choked away the season in typical Al Groh fashion). Duke beat Navy and Vanderbilt. The ACC won 6 out of 10 head-to-head meetings with the SEC, and
- The hope it’s just a nasty rumor that The Roots are going to stop touring and become the house band for Jimmy Fallon when he takes over for Conan O’Brien next year. Letterman has Paul Shaffer. Conan has Max Weinberg. Leno has some guy named Kevin Eubanks. Jimmy Fallon is arguably the biggest douche of this group (Leno could make an argument for this title), yet Fallon gets the coolest house band? This seems like a curious career decision on the part of The Roots. The move will hurt their street cred.
- BDF brought up an interesting point recently. “60 Minutes” begins at 7 P.M. EST on Sunday nights. During the NFL season, it never begins on time and Jim Nantz always has to tell us “if you’re tuning in to see “60 Minutes,” it will air in it’s entirety following this NFL football action. Except on the West Coast.” Why not just push “60 Minutes” back to 7:30 during the NFL season? The 4 P.M. games never end before 7:15. Would it do any harm to show 15 minutes of highlights if the game does end early? Also, your grandparents could tune into CBS at 7:30 and not have to watch the last 20 minutes of the Chargers-Broncos game.
- Don’t drop the soap, O.J.
- In a world of miserable commercials, SONIC commercials never disappoint me. The two guys in the car are funny, and the married couple is even funnier. The bald guy is probably out-kicking his coverage, but he is hilarious. The sausage biscuit dippers are on my “to-do” list. On the other hand, GEICO commercials don’t do much for me. Enough with the cavemen and the gecko.
- I have been meaning to write about how unrealistic this season of “Entourage” was, but Sports Guy on ESPN.com beat me to it. Here is what he had to say about it (SPOILER ALERT):
“Well, the fifth season of "Entourage" wasn't implausible at all: I can totally see Vince's losing his career after one bad movie (so what if Colin Farrell has made 15 stinkers and keeps getting jobs?), becoming Hollywood poison, getting a job only because his agent passed up a $10-million-a-year studio head position to stay with him -- you know, because agents have such great character -- submarining an elaborate $120 million action movie that somehow came together in about 2.23 seconds because the director hated him (in the irony of ironies, because he didn't think Vince, a guy played by Adrian Grenier, could act), hitting rock bottom and moving back to Queens, then climactically rebounding with the lead in Martin Scorsese's new movie without ever auditioning for it, and while all of this was happening Jamie-Lynn Sigler fell in love with a jobless Turtle, and Johnny Drama starred on an NBC drama that normally would tape for 17 hours a day, unless your show stars Johnny Drama, in which case you tape once a month for a couple of minutes. Awesome. I'd ask for that 390 minutes of my life back, but it's my own fault for watching. I blame myself.”
I completely agree with Sports Guy, although I thought the season was mildly entertaining despite much of the bullshit that transpired. I mean, the actor that plays Turtle is allegedly dating Jamie-Lynn Sigler (Meadow Soprano) in real life, so maybe that plot line is not that far-fetched. Jeremy Piven (Ari) is a tremendous actor – it’s a shame he is surrounded by such mediocre acting and writing.
- Weird Al is an ageless wonder. He has done parodies of songs by Michael Jackson, Madonna, Coolio, the Chili Peppers, and many more. His latest parody of T.I. is not his best effort, but it's worth listening to.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.
I love Christmas, but I can't completely embrace it for obvious reasons (see Nov. 11 blog if you are confused). I like candy and dressing up in costumes so Halloween is right up my alley, but it rarely falls on a weekend and it's not socially acceptable for me to trick-or-treat anymore. I wish I gave a shit about whether Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow or not...but I don't. So, Groundhog Day is out of contention.
Thanksgiving is about as good as it gets -- albeit it without presents or candy. Here's how my day usually unfolds:
10:00 AM: Wake up. Turn on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Sike, Sportscenter.
11:00 AM: Play football outside -- Pilgrims vs. Indians.
12:30 PM: Watch my Detroit Lions in their only nationally-televised game of the year.
12:31 PM: Snack heavily / drink lightly.
2:00 PM: Halftime. Express my frustration with my Lions. Drown my sorrows with another Whiskey Sour and more Chex Mix.
4:00 PM: Celebrate the Lions victory (just kidding, we lost again). Sit down for family dinner. Skip dessert for now.
5:30 PM: Casually watch the Cowboys game.
5:31 PM: Nap/pass out.
8:00 PM: Second wind. Did someone say pie?
The rest of the night: Drink heavily / snack lightly.
Seriously, what a day! I should note that I squeeze just enough "family time" in between each step of my day. I could see this day being less enjoyable if (a) you have kids, (b) you go to someone else's house for dinner (that would eliminate the "nap" portion of the day), (c) you don't get along with your extended family (luckily I don't have any annoying cousins / nieces / nephews), (d) you are not a Lions fan (99.9% of the population), (e) you have any responsibilities whatsoever, or (f) you don't appreciate gravy on the same level as me.
I love Christmas, but I can't completely embrace it for obvious reasons (see Nov. 11 blog if you are confused). I like candy and dressing up in costumes so Halloween is right up my alley, but it rarely falls on a weekend and it's not socially acceptable for me to trick-or-treat anymore. I wish I gave a shit about whether Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow or not...but I don't. So, Groundhog Day is out of contention.
Thanksgiving is about as good as it gets -- albeit it without presents or candy. Here's how my day usually unfolds:
10:00 AM: Wake up. Turn on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Sike, Sportscenter.
11:00 AM: Play football outside -- Pilgrims vs. Indians.
12:30 PM: Watch my Detroit Lions in their only nationally-televised game of the year.
12:31 PM: Snack heavily / drink lightly.
2:00 PM: Halftime. Express my frustration with my Lions. Drown my sorrows with another Whiskey Sour and more Chex Mix.
4:00 PM: Celebrate the Lions victory (just kidding, we lost again). Sit down for family dinner. Skip dessert for now.
5:30 PM: Casually watch the Cowboys game.
5:31 PM: Nap/pass out.
8:00 PM: Second wind. Did someone say pie?
The rest of the night: Drink heavily / snack lightly.
Seriously, what a day! I should note that I squeeze just enough "family time" in between each step of my day. I could see this day being less enjoyable if (a) you have kids, (b) you go to someone else's house for dinner (that would eliminate the "nap" portion of the day), (c) you don't get along with your extended family (luckily I don't have any annoying cousins / nieces / nephews), (d) you are not a Lions fan (99.9% of the population), (e) you have any responsibilities whatsoever, or (f) you don't appreciate gravy on the same level as me.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Lil Wayne: Rapper, Nirvana Fan, Blogger
I don’t listen to much post-2000 rap. So, until about a year ago, I just assumed Lil Wayne had fallen off the map ever since he backed up Juvenile on “Back that Azz Up” and B.G. on “Bling Bling” in the late 90s. Little did I know he would become one of the biggest rap superstars of the decade. Not only that – it turns out Lil Wayne is a pretty interesting dude. He says Nirvana was one of his main influences – I don’t see how but that’s cool that he likes them. He also was in the drama club in middle school. That’s very un-gangsta (although he did drop out of school at age 14). For as much as I prefer 90s rap to current rap, I like that the East coast / West coast beef has been squashed. Rappers actually hang out with each other – not just their crew – now.
Anyway, Lil Wayne now has a blog on ESPN.com. It is surprisingly well-written and insightful. Sure, ESPN probably has some editors revise it before it hits the website, but Lil Wayne makes interesting points, seems to know a lot about sports, and it looks like he reads most of the readers’ comments. It’s probably the second-coolest blog you'll read today -- check it out below. Thanks to Chief for the link.
http://sports.espn.go.com/Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Random Thoughts on Judaism
I go to church on Fridays. Actually, it’s not church and I don’t go that often, but I am one of the Chosen People. I believe strongly in my Jewish faith, but I rarely attend synagogue and do not observe several Jewish traditions – most notably, a kosher diet. I believe that the way you live your life and the way you treat people is more important than how often you go to services or whether or not your McGriddles have sausage in them (of course they do). This will probably be the only time I will blog about religion so here are some random thoughts on Judaism:
- People ask me if I mind when people say the word “Jew.” I really don’t mind, as long as it’s not preceded by the word “fuckin’.”
- Yes, Jews love bagels. Who doesn’t? You also probably think only black people like orange soda. Trust me, you are in the minority if you don’t like bagels and orange soda.
- Jews invented circumcision. Umm, you’re welcome.
- My favorite Jewish-owned restaurant is Juanita Greenberg’s in
- The phrase “JAP” (Jewish American Princess) might offend some Jews, but not this guy. Not only does the term not offend me, I think it’s hilarious.
- Your Jewish jokes are timeless. Let me guess, I have a big nose and I’m cheap? Zing!
- This girl I know (who knows I am Jewish) once said that a TJ Maxx gift card was “kind of a Jewish gift.” I’m not a math major, but I’m pretty sure that a $50 TJ Maxx gift card is worth as much as a $50 Nordstrom’s gift card. Plus if the person that gave the gift really wanted to be “Jewish,” she would have given you a Stein Mart gift card.
- What is the deal with Jews For Jesus? I don’t even have a joke for this one, but I’m pretty sure they are not Jews.
- Adam Sandler’s “Chanukah Song” was so funny that it almost makes up for the lack of hilarity in “Little Nicky,” “Click,” and “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.”
- My ideal Passover sedar would be Jerry Seinfeld, Slash (Saul Hudson), Jon Stewart (Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz), and Seth Cohen from The O.C. Andrea Zuckerman’s invitation might accidentally get lost in the mail.
- My favorite baseball player is Gary Majewski, a pitcher for the Cincinnati Reds. He is probably not Jewish, almost certainly Polish, and most definitely not an All-Star caliber pitcher. But what a name! I bet the guys clown him on road trips — “We all know Majewski’s not gonna pick up the tab tonight!” His teammates are assholes.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Phillip Fulmer Got a Raw Deal
Tennessee announced today that head football coach Phillip Fulmer was asked to step down at the end of the year. The higher-ups are letting him coach the last three games -- real classy. The man has been a student-athlete, graduate assistant, assistant coach, or head coach at UT for 35 years, the last 17 as head coach. The program has fallen a little bit, but not enough for this. Keep in mind, they won 10 games last season and made it to the SEC Championship game.
Let me make one thing abundantly clear: I do not care for Tennessee football. I think their fans are a bit obnoxious and I don't even like Fulmer all that much. But for everything Fulmer has done for that program, he deserved to leave on his own terms.
While I think the Big 12 is by far the best conference this year, the SEC has the most dominant conference in the nation year in and year out for the past 17 years. Over those 17 years, Fulmer's record at Tennessee has been 150-51. I'm not a mathematician, but that a winning percentage of almost 75%. That's unheard of in the SEC. 2 losing records (assuming they lose at least one more game this year) in 17 years. 8 10+ win seasons. 5 SEC Championship games. 1 National Championship.
A coach with a record like that deserves the opportunity to leave on his own terms. The athletic director also announced that this year's Tennessee-Kentucky game will be "Phil Fulmer Day." Really? Seriously? On the same day that you essentially fire one of the most successful coaches of the last two decades, you decide to honor him on his last game as head coach? It seems like a back-handed compliment to me. At least wait until next year's home opener to honor Fulmer -- give him several months to accept the decision and reflect on his accomplishments.
Fulmer got a raw deal. Straight up. But since I don't like Tennessee, I've already bored myself writing this much. I wish the next coach good luck -- you better win 10 games next season.
Let me make one thing abundantly clear: I do not care for Tennessee football. I think their fans are a bit obnoxious and I don't even like Fulmer all that much. But for everything Fulmer has done for that program, he deserved to leave on his own terms.
While I think the Big 12 is by far the best conference this year, the SEC has the most dominant conference in the nation year in and year out for the past 17 years. Over those 17 years, Fulmer's record at Tennessee has been 150-51. I'm not a mathematician, but that a winning percentage of almost 75%. That's unheard of in the SEC. 2 losing records (assuming they lose at least one more game this year) in 17 years. 8 10+ win seasons. 5 SEC Championship games. 1 National Championship.
A coach with a record like that deserves the opportunity to leave on his own terms. The athletic director also announced that this year's Tennessee-Kentucky game will be "Phil Fulmer Day." Really? Seriously? On the same day that you essentially fire one of the most successful coaches of the last two decades, you decide to honor him on his last game as head coach? It seems like a back-handed compliment to me. At least wait until next year's home opener to honor Fulmer -- give him several months to accept the decision and reflect on his accomplishments.
Fulmer got a raw deal. Straight up. But since I don't like Tennessee, I've already bored myself writing this much. I wish the next coach good luck -- you better win 10 games next season.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Palin on SNL
Saturday Night Live had its highest ratings in 14 years last Saturday thanks to the buzz surrounding Sarah Palin's appearance. I thought Palin did pretty well -- not exceptionally funny but she didn't try too hard to be funny. She was a good sport. The opening scene with Alec Baldwin was great, but Amy Poehler's rap on Weekend Update was easily the highlight of the show.
It is just me or is Amy Poehler SO MUCH funnier than Tina Fey? Check out the video below.
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/update-palin-rap/773781/
It is just me or is Amy Poehler SO MUCH funnier than Tina Fey? Check out the video below.
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/update-palin-rap/773781/
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
What You Missed If You Just Woke Up From A 10-Year Coma
GUEST BLOG BY HUNTER REID:
Q: Have you ever wondered how difficult it would be to explain our modern existence to someone that suddenly awoke from a decade-long coma? For instance, do you remember in "Demolition Man" how confused John Spartan (Sly Stallone) was in the New World after the police thawed him out from his Cryogenic status? In the 30 years that passed Sly by Taco Bell had become fine-dining; smoking, cursing, and contact-sports were against the law; and wiping your ass had been replaced by the "3 Seashells" technique. Given such a scenario, how would you sum-up our evolution since 1998?
Here is my attempt to connect-the-dots of modernity into some kind of logical path, and possibly guess whether Jason Mraz will become the next John Mayer or Shawn Colvin:
1. Mass Communication:
Humans of the 21 century aren't telepathic, but we are as close as one could ever imagine. Every single person above the age of eight has a wireless phone that gets reception anywhere in the world. These no-wire devices come as small as a pack of matches and can be used hands-free. A cell phone usually includes instant messaging, video games, and the internet. For most people their phones double as a stereo or even triple as a laptop computer. Apple, Inc. made a miraculous comeback and revolutionized music and computers by releasing a cell phone (about the size of a billfold) that combines every medium of communication and entertainment, AND it uses the convenience of touch-screens. So, no more silly buttons.
But, talking isn't the only way we communicate. Almost every American household gets 200+ digitalized TV channels as their "basic" package. Everyone, I mean ev-very-one, checks their email at least twice a day. And they have satellite radios in their cars with another 200+ stations. Simultaneously, we can communicate through several mediums instantaneously.
2. To illustrate, consider our…Political atmosphere:
Because of our capabilities with regard to mass communication, particularly our love for sensational journalism, cable television and wireless internet, we have discovered more things than anyone should ever know about our candidates. "Who they married?" "What kind of house do they own, and who are their neighbors?" "What they named their pets?" are all important issues these days. Policies and issues cannot be the sole focus on an election. We need to know who has the better fudge-brownie recipe: Michelle Obama or Cindy McCain? Listen, if you want to learn about a candidate's policies, just go their website. But, don't bother anyone with that nonsense because you will wind up on a cable news station yelling back and forth with a big talking head.
3. Names:
To me, the names of our Presidents have always been a microcosm that represents how Americans view themselves. In our formidable years we had very British named Presidents like George, John, and Thomas. During the Civil War-era we came out with uniquely frontier names like Abe, Ulyssus and Rutherford. Then, during the World Wars we started to emphasize the importance of full names and initials with FDR, Dwight D., JFK, and LBJ. Today, the two hottest politicians on this planet are Barack Obama and Willow Palin's momma (Sarah). We seem tired of these stuffy sounding names. We have to be individualistic. Soon enough we will elect a Trey or a Dax as our Commander in Chief, and we are all gonna wonder what the hell happened to naming your kid Joseph or Matthew or Andrew.
4. Television shows:
TV has gotten a whole lot sexier these days. For starters, the show with the largest female audience in entertainment history was called, "Sex and the City," which focused on the lives of four women that slutted their way around their favorite city, New York. "The Practice," dissolved, renamed itself "Boston Legal," and centered all the drama on the characters sex lives. "E.R." flat-lined, they re-casted, all the doctors started having sex, and they call it "Grey's Anatomy." (footnote: McDreamy is a poor man's Noah Wylie).
… and deadlier. "NYPD Blue" is now "NYPD Special Victims Unit," and focuses on homicide forensics. Forensics is so popular that we have a Crime Scene Investigation show for New York, Miami, and Thursday; we have a forensic show about solving cold cases called "Cold Case;" one about solving murders using numerology called "Numbers;" and one about solving cold case murders called "Bones." There is a "Specialist," "Mentalist," and a "Closer," that are all wildly popular. But, if that isn't deadly enough for you, there is a hit show named "Dexter," about the complexities of a forensic blood pathologist, who moonlights as a vigilante serial killer, and has to investigate his own crimes by daylight.
5. In case you were wondering about the Tanner family tree:
Danny's girls have all grown up, and boy did they need a mom in their life. Deej is fine (little pudgy), but Jodi Sweeten became a meth-head, and the twins became anorexic whores. Danny turned out to be quite the perverted father, Uncle Jessie lost the hottest woman on earth to Koosh (from Jerry Mcguire), and Uncle Joey's jokes got old. Aunt Becky maintained a TV personality on The CW (which use to be The WB, which use to be WGN), and is now a star on the 90210 remake where she has married the dude from Silk Stalkings, adopted the kid from The Wire, and moved into Beverly Hills with the grandma from Arrested Development (the latter two being the best-written drama and comedy shows, respectively).
6. Close:
After examining our lives since 1998, it seems that the dots cannot be connected to anything meaningful. Oh well, at least we finally put Wesley Snipes behind bars.
FOLLOW-UP FROM CHOP:
I have to throw in my two cents on this interesting hypothetical raised by Hunter. First of all, D.J. Tanner is not pudgy anymore. Who knew she would be the hottest of the Tanner sisters now? If a friend of mine just awoke from a 10-year coma and I had to explain everything he'd missed since 1998, here are the 10 most important things I'd tell him:
1) Songs aren't free on Napster anymore. You have to pay for them on iTunes, and then you put them on your iPod. What's an iPod, you ask? Shit, you missed a lot.
2) Boston is dominating the professional sports scene. The Red Sox broke the curse, the Patriots drafted Tom Brady (yeah, that guy that didn't start for Michigan before your coma), and the Celtics traded very little talent to get Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen on the same team with Paul Pierce.
3) The World Trade Center is gone. I hope your birthday isn't September 11 because it will be ruined forever.
4) 2Pac died two years before you went into a coma, but he has released four albums since then.
5) Gas is $4.00/gallon, but cars keep getting bigger. Oh, and thousands of people now drive Hummers as their main source of transportation. Yes, even when they are not driving in the desert or on water.
6) Reality TV has gone to a whole new level. You knew the Real World and Survivor, but now there are more dancing and singing competitions, nanny shows, and ridiculous dating shows than you ever could have imagined. Now, when you turn on VH1, instead of seeing Richard Marx videos, you seen the singer for Poison and Flava Flav making out with 19-year old strippers.
7) Coca-Cola developed a drink called Coke Zero that tastes better than Coke and has no calories. It is the nectar of the gods.
8) Screech has a sex tape.
9) Poker is on ESPN at least two hours a day. The National Spelling Bee is aired live on ABC.
10) McDonald's now serves bottled water, salads, and healthy wraps. On a positive note, they developed a breakfast sandwich that is sausage or bacon with cheese and egg in between two maple syrup flavored pancakes. I know what you're thinking -- you love their biscuits and think the biscuits sound better than these new (to you) McGriddles. Trust me, order the McGriddles.
Q: Have you ever wondered how difficult it would be to explain our modern existence to someone that suddenly awoke from a decade-long coma? For instance, do you remember in "Demolition Man" how confused John Spartan (Sly Stallone) was in the New World after the police thawed him out from his Cryogenic status? In the 30 years that passed Sly by Taco Bell had become fine-dining; smoking, cursing, and contact-sports were against the law; and wiping your ass had been replaced by the "3 Seashells" technique. Given such a scenario, how would you sum-up our evolution since 1998?
Here is my attempt to connect-the-dots of modernity into some kind of logical path, and possibly guess whether Jason Mraz will become the next John Mayer or Shawn Colvin:
1. Mass Communication:
Humans of the 21 century aren't telepathic, but we are as close as one could ever imagine. Every single person above the age of eight has a wireless phone that gets reception anywhere in the world. These no-wire devices come as small as a pack of matches and can be used hands-free. A cell phone usually includes instant messaging, video games, and the internet. For most people their phones double as a stereo or even triple as a laptop computer. Apple, Inc. made a miraculous comeback and revolutionized music and computers by releasing a cell phone (about the size of a billfold) that combines every medium of communication and entertainment, AND it uses the convenience of touch-screens. So, no more silly buttons.
But, talking isn't the only way we communicate. Almost every American household gets 200+ digitalized TV channels as their "basic" package. Everyone, I mean ev-very-one, checks their email at least twice a day. And they have satellite radios in their cars with another 200+ stations. Simultaneously, we can communicate through several mediums instantaneously.
2. To illustrate, consider our…Political atmosphere:
Because of our capabilities with regard to mass communication, particularly our love for sensational journalism, cable television and wireless internet, we have discovered more things than anyone should ever know about our candidates. "Who they married?" "What kind of house do they own, and who are their neighbors?" "What they named their pets?" are all important issues these days. Policies and issues cannot be the sole focus on an election. We need to know who has the better fudge-brownie recipe: Michelle Obama or Cindy McCain? Listen, if you want to learn about a candidate's policies, just go their website. But, don't bother anyone with that nonsense because you will wind up on a cable news station yelling back and forth with a big talking head.
3. Names:
To me, the names of our Presidents have always been a microcosm that represents how Americans view themselves. In our formidable years we had very British named Presidents like George, John, and Thomas. During the Civil War-era we came out with uniquely frontier names like Abe, Ulyssus and Rutherford. Then, during the World Wars we started to emphasize the importance of full names and initials with FDR, Dwight D., JFK, and LBJ. Today, the two hottest politicians on this planet are Barack Obama and Willow Palin's momma (Sarah). We seem tired of these stuffy sounding names. We have to be individualistic. Soon enough we will elect a Trey or a Dax as our Commander in Chief, and we are all gonna wonder what the hell happened to naming your kid Joseph or Matthew or Andrew.
4. Television shows:
TV has gotten a whole lot sexier these days. For starters, the show with the largest female audience in entertainment history was called, "Sex and the City," which focused on the lives of four women that slutted their way around their favorite city, New York. "The Practice," dissolved, renamed itself "Boston Legal," and centered all the drama on the characters sex lives. "E.R." flat-lined, they re-casted, all the doctors started having sex, and they call it "Grey's Anatomy." (footnote: McDreamy is a poor man's Noah Wylie).
… and deadlier. "NYPD Blue" is now "NYPD Special Victims Unit," and focuses on homicide forensics. Forensics is so popular that we have a Crime Scene Investigation show for New York, Miami, and Thursday; we have a forensic show about solving cold cases called "Cold Case;" one about solving murders using numerology called "Numbers;" and one about solving cold case murders called "Bones." There is a "Specialist," "Mentalist," and a "Closer," that are all wildly popular. But, if that isn't deadly enough for you, there is a hit show named "Dexter," about the complexities of a forensic blood pathologist, who moonlights as a vigilante serial killer, and has to investigate his own crimes by daylight.
5. In case you were wondering about the Tanner family tree:
Danny's girls have all grown up, and boy did they need a mom in their life. Deej is fine (little pudgy), but Jodi Sweeten became a meth-head, and the twins became anorexic whores. Danny turned out to be quite the perverted father, Uncle Jessie lost the hottest woman on earth to Koosh (from Jerry Mcguire), and Uncle Joey's jokes got old. Aunt Becky maintained a TV personality on The CW (which use to be The WB, which use to be WGN), and is now a star on the 90210 remake where she has married the dude from Silk Stalkings, adopted the kid from The Wire, and moved into Beverly Hills with the grandma from Arrested Development (the latter two being the best-written drama and comedy shows, respectively).
6. Close:
After examining our lives since 1998, it seems that the dots cannot be connected to anything meaningful. Oh well, at least we finally put Wesley Snipes behind bars.
FOLLOW-UP FROM CHOP:
I have to throw in my two cents on this interesting hypothetical raised by Hunter. First of all, D.J. Tanner is not pudgy anymore. Who knew she would be the hottest of the Tanner sisters now? If a friend of mine just awoke from a 10-year coma and I had to explain everything he'd missed since 1998, here are the 10 most important things I'd tell him:
1) Songs aren't free on Napster anymore. You have to pay for them on iTunes, and then you put them on your iPod. What's an iPod, you ask? Shit, you missed a lot.
2) Boston is dominating the professional sports scene. The Red Sox broke the curse, the Patriots drafted Tom Brady (yeah, that guy that didn't start for Michigan before your coma), and the Celtics traded very little talent to get Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen on the same team with Paul Pierce.
3) The World Trade Center is gone. I hope your birthday isn't September 11 because it will be ruined forever.
4) 2Pac died two years before you went into a coma, but he has released four albums since then.
5) Gas is $4.00/gallon, but cars keep getting bigger. Oh, and thousands of people now drive Hummers as their main source of transportation. Yes, even when they are not driving in the desert or on water.
6) Reality TV has gone to a whole new level. You knew the Real World and Survivor, but now there are more dancing and singing competitions, nanny shows, and ridiculous dating shows than you ever could have imagined. Now, when you turn on VH1, instead of seeing Richard Marx videos, you seen the singer for Poison and Flava Flav making out with 19-year old strippers.
7) Coca-Cola developed a drink called Coke Zero that tastes better than Coke and has no calories. It is the nectar of the gods.
8) Screech has a sex tape.
9) Poker is on ESPN at least two hours a day. The National Spelling Bee is aired live on ABC.
10) McDonald's now serves bottled water, salads, and healthy wraps. On a positive note, they developed a breakfast sandwich that is sausage or bacon with cheese and egg in between two maple syrup flavored pancakes. I know what you're thinking -- you love their biscuits and think the biscuits sound better than these new (to you) McGriddles. Trust me, order the McGriddles.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
A Sad State of Affairs for UVA Football
UVa football had a dream season in 2007 -- 9 wins (5 by 2 points or less), arguably the best defensive player in school history (Chris Long), and its first New Year's Day bowl in a decade (Gator Bowl). But then came 2008. On January 1, 2008, the Hoos blew a 14-point lead in the last 6 minutes and lost to Texas Tech. Soon after, it was announced that starting quarterback Jameel Sewell had failed out of school. Then, highly recruited freshman linebacker J'Courtney Williams was kicked out of school for stealing another student's credit card. The best offensive lineman (Branden Albert) subsequently declared for the NFL Draft. Over the next few months, the program's two best defensive backs and its best defensive lineman (Chris Cook, Mike Brown, and Jeffrey Fitzgerald) were either kicked out or failed out of school. A senior starting linebacker broke his ankle in the first game and will miss the rest of the season. Last week, new starting quarterback (and highly recruited sophomore) Peter Lalich -- supposedly the future of the team -- got kicked off the team for numerous alcohol and marijuana-related offenses (ASIDE: he is rumored to be transferring to Oregon State). The squad lost to USC 52-7 (not surprising since USC is ranked #1) and 45-10 to UConn (surprising since the lowly Temple Owls had taken UConn to overtime the week before).
Just when things could not possibly get any worse for this embarrassment of a football team, the line came out for the Duke game this Saturday. Duke is favored by 7! Based on UVa's play so far this season, the line is about what I expected but it is still hard to believe. Duke has been the doormat of the ACC for the last 15-20 years. This week's line begs the question: when is the last time Duke was favored in an ACC football game? After conducting a quick Google search, it appears that Duke was last favored in ACC play in 2002 against UNC (favored by 3). I would guess that it has been well over a decade since Duke was favored by a touchdown or more versus an ACC opponent -- perhaps this is the first time since the Spurrier era in the late 80s.
2008 has been an embarrassment for the Hoos. Let's hope Al Groh is not around to see the program turn things around in 2009. The first piece of good news: QB Jameel Sewell will re-enroll in January and should be on the field in 2009. Most UVa fans are probably more concerned with the school's ranking in USNews & World Report than the football team's ranking, but while they're drinking Zima and eating brie, the real fans are ready for the program to get back to respectability.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Ramblings
I'm sorry for the two-week hiatus (I am speaking to my 6 readers). It's time for some ramblings:
- Contrary to overwhelming popular opinion, I thought Michael Phelps was decent as host of SNL. He flubbed a few lines, but considering he is a freakin' swimmer, he did fine. He was surprisingly poised during the monologue, and most of his awkwardness during the skits was a direct result of shitty writing. SNL actually has a lot of funny actors now, but the writing is weak. TIME magazine listed Phelps as the #10 worst host ever on SNL. I have watched SNL for about 16 years now, and I think TIME is way off on this one. Maybe it's still the Olympic Fever talking, but I think people are hating too much on his performance. They had Nancy Kerrigan (figure skater) at #1 from her 1994 hosting fiasco -- I am in complete agreement with that choice.
- How about the Ryder Cup last weekend? The U.S. defeats Europe for the first since 1999. I always forget how pumped I get for the Ryder Cup until it actually starts. The Ryder Cup is to golf what the World Cup is to soccer, at least from my perspective. I watch golf majors and some random soccer games (matches?), but i get consumed with those sports during the Ryder Cup and the World Cup. There were some good college and pro football games on this weekend, but the Ryder Cup completely took priority on my TV. Boo Weekley doing the "Happy Gilmore" bull dance after teeing of on the first hole on Sunday was one of the funniest things I have ever seen on the golf course. Doin' the bull dance, feelin' the flow. Workin' it. Yeah.
- Will albums ever go platinum anymore now that we have iTunes? I wouldn't think that iTunes count toward an album's platinum status -- maybe if you buy the whole CD, but who does that when you can just buy the three or four good songs? How can you sell 1 million albums when fans can buy individual songs? The artists probably make the same amount of money, if not more, than they used to but it's still an interesting thought. If this is all true, no album will ever pass Michael Jackson's "Thriller" album in sales. That makes me happy. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_best-selling_albums_worldwide
- I've only watched the two newest episodes, but "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" is a disturbingly funny show. It's solidified itself it my weekly rotation.
- I know I talk about "90210" way too much, but the first four episodes have met my high expectations. I wouldn't say they've exceeded my expectations, but they're at least at the level that I set in my mind. I appreciate the 3 levels of drama that the show portrays -- 1) high school drama (the usual but still intriguing), 2) 30 something drama (Kelly, Brenda, Ryan, Dylan as Kelly's son's father), and 3) parent drama. No other show -- including BH9er -- have given us all three of these levels. Stay tuned for more analysis.
- This might be old news by now, but referee Ed Hochuli clearly blew a call during the Broncos-Chargers game last week. He blew the play dead right before the Chargers would have recovered a fumble and won the game. Denver got the ball back and proceeded to score and win. I understand that Chargers fans are pissed, but the Chargers still had chances to make a play and they didn't. Moreover, no matter how pissed you get at the refs, you have to be a huge loser to send hate mail or angry emails to a ref. Apparently, Hochuli got thousands of cursing emails -- and instead of ignoring them like most people -- he has been trying to respond to every single one. Clearly, he feels bad about the call. Refs make mistakes. I have wanted to punch refs in the neck many times, but if I ever sat down at my computer and took the time to write an email to a ref about missing a call, I would feel like the biggest booger-eater in the world. It's time to move on, Chargers fans.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
ACC Football Sucks Worse Than "The Hills"
Admitting that Wake Forest is the best team in the ACC is like suggesting that Lauren is the best character on "The Hills." With all due respect to Wake, they are not a top 10 team. Probably not even a top 20 team. Likewise, Lauren is a pretty miserable person, but she seems like a decent girl when surrounded by the likes of Heidi, Lo, and Audrina. In both circumstances, it is more of a process of elimination.
Wake Forest needed a last second field goal last week to beat Ole Miss -- arguably the 9th or 10th best team in the SEC -- by 2 points. Oh, and the game was at Wake. Oh, and that was the best win the ACC has had in the first two weeks of the season.
The conference has a few opportunities to save some face this weekend -- UNC plays at Rutgers on Thursday, UVa plays at UConn on Saturday, and Maryland plays Cal at home. Based on the ACC's early mediocrity, I should also note that Florida State plays Chattanooga at home.
Outside of Wake's two wins (Baylor and Ole Miss), the ACC's only wins have come against the following: Kent State, The Citadel, Western Carolina, Delaware, William & Mary, Richmond, Furman, James Madison, Charleston Southern, and McNeese State. The losses have come to Middle Tennessee State, East Carolina, and EVERY team we've played from a power conference (USC, South Carolina, Florida, Alabama, and Northwestern). I wouldn't go as far as to say that Conference USA is better than the ACC, but the Mountain West Conference probably is. I am fairly confident that Utah, BYU, and Air Force would punish most of the teams in the ACC. I don't like the Mountain West Conference, but damnit I respect it.
I think Clemson is much better than they showed against Alabama. I still think they will overcome their tendency to choke in big games and win the ACC Championship, but then proceed to continue the ACC's losing streak in BCS games. My sleeper pick in the ACC (picking a sleeper pick in a conference as shitty as the ACC is like picking your favorite surprisingly good Lindsay Lohan movie -- ASIDE: "Parent Trap" is the only one that comes to mind and Lohan was 12) is Georgia Tech -- new coach Paul Johnson has them running the option and Nesbitt and Dwyer (QB and RB, respectively) have looked impressive. I predict they will win the Coastal Division of the ACC. They play Virginia Tech this weekend (good call redshirting Tyrod Taylor just for the ECU game) -- that early-season game may end up determining which team wins the division. I predict losing records for Duke, NC State, Virginia, Maryland, and Boston College. I realize these predictions could have been posted two weeks ago, but I wanted to get a preview of the ACC. So far, that preview has sucked.
Wake Forest needed a last second field goal last week to beat Ole Miss -- arguably the 9th or 10th best team in the SEC -- by 2 points. Oh, and the game was at Wake. Oh, and that was the best win the ACC has had in the first two weeks of the season.
The conference has a few opportunities to save some face this weekend -- UNC plays at Rutgers on Thursday, UVa plays at UConn on Saturday, and Maryland plays Cal at home. Based on the ACC's early mediocrity, I should also note that Florida State plays Chattanooga at home.
Outside of Wake's two wins (Baylor and Ole Miss), the ACC's only wins have come against the following: Kent State, The Citadel, Western Carolina, Delaware, William & Mary, Richmond, Furman, James Madison, Charleston Southern, and McNeese State. The losses have come to Middle Tennessee State, East Carolina, and EVERY team we've played from a power conference (USC, South Carolina, Florida, Alabama, and Northwestern). I wouldn't go as far as to say that Conference USA is better than the ACC, but the Mountain West Conference probably is. I am fairly confident that Utah, BYU, and Air Force would punish most of the teams in the ACC. I don't like the Mountain West Conference, but damnit I respect it.
I think Clemson is much better than they showed against Alabama. I still think they will overcome their tendency to choke in big games and win the ACC Championship, but then proceed to continue the ACC's losing streak in BCS games. My sleeper pick in the ACC (picking a sleeper pick in a conference as shitty as the ACC is like picking your favorite surprisingly good Lindsay Lohan movie -- ASIDE: "Parent Trap" is the only one that comes to mind and Lohan was 12) is Georgia Tech -- new coach Paul Johnson has them running the option and Nesbitt and Dwyer (QB and RB, respectively) have looked impressive. I predict they will win the Coastal Division of the ACC. They play Virginia Tech this weekend (good call redshirting Tyrod Taylor just for the ECU game) -- that early-season game may end up determining which team wins the division. I predict losing records for Duke, NC State, Virginia, Maryland, and Boston College. I realize these predictions could have been posted two weeks ago, but I wanted to get a preview of the ACC. So far, that preview has sucked.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
90210 Running Commentary
My brother and I were more than a little excited for the series premiere of "90210." We decided to keep Google talk on for the entire episode. Needless to say, the first episode was as good as can be expected. I have no doubt that the show will be successful. Here is what resulted during our running commentary.
Dave: Here are my 3 keys to the show 1. Drama between Kelly and Brenda 2. No product placement 3. Not too many main characters
Dave: Here are my 3 keys to the show 1. Drama between Kelly and Brenda 2. No product placement 3. Not too many main characters
and as a bonus, Brandon Walsh
7:58 PM me: Brandon (we shall refuse to use his real name) said he doesn't want to be in the show -- but is willing to work behind the scenes, maybe do some directing
7:59 PM I keep forgetting Aunt Becky from Full House is on the show
8:00 PM Coldplay intro...lame choice
Michael from The Wire is now the token black guy -- at least he won't get type cast
8:01 PM Dave: remember how the original show played a current popular song in the intro
me: Of course I remember but Coldplay blows
8:02 PM Dave: did aunt becky just say dude?
is jessica walters a drunk on every show?
8:03 PM me: Lucille Bluth 2.0
Dave: ugh - if they play the incest angle.....
8:04 PM me: West Beverly High hasn't changed a bit -- where's Mrs. Teasley?
8:05 PM Dave: is that Andrea's daughter?
8:06 PM me: Haha Hannah Zuckerman-Vasquez!
Dave: nice
what is the capital of Kansas?
topeka?
me: Is it weird that I feel old seeing Hannah all grown up even though she's fictional?
8:07 PM Dave: yeah
Kelly Taylor
still hot
8:08 PM me: Her life experiences will make her an outstanding guidance counselor
Dave: 16?
nice. this is soph year
Ethan gets more ass than Dylan
8:09 PM me: That's impossible
I sense there is some history between Ethan and the girl from Kansas -- me so awkward
8:10 PM Dave: 2 girls in 8 minutes, it's McKay-esqe
and Brenda!!!
me: theme song?
8:11 PM Dave: an updated version of the orig. I like it
me: classic guitar riff with an updated feel
8:12 PM Dave: I need a freaking play bill to follow all the characters
The Principal is their dad right?
me: yeah and he is married to Aunt Becky
8:13 PM Dave: i feel like that teacher will be the center of a Kelly/Brenda feud - predictable, but I am still excited
8:14 PM me: true dat
silver?
any relation to a skinny dj who tickles the ivories?
8:15 PM Dave: Silver ? as in David Silver's sister?
8:16 PM mr matthews might be the new mrs. t
me: This principal is a P.I.M.P.
Nat!
8:17 PM Dave: naaat!
me: Is that the Peach Pit?
8:18 PM I think there is some foreshadowing of plagarism
8:19 PM Since when do they play lax in California and how is the guy from Kansas good at it?
Dave: i guess so
8:20 PM annie seems like a better looking version of andrea
me: much less nerdy
8:21 PM i bet they didn't even ask Andrea to come back
just her daughter
| 7 minutes |
8:29 PM me: Aunt Becky's ex is named Morris Cornblume
| 8 minutes |
8:37 PM Dave: who stole naomi's purse?
the drama chick?
what's her name?
me: this girl with bangs
8:38 PM Dave: dixon, you should be playing football anyways
me: Kelly and Silver are sisters -- what was the name of David and Kelly's half sister?
8:39 PM Dave: don't remember
8:41 PM me: was that chorus or Destiny's Child?
8:42 PM where is Brenda?
Dave: i thought i saw her at the beginning
8:45 PM lots of drama for the pilot
me: What's the over/under on a James Eckhouse (Jim Walsh) sighting?
Dave: ha - zero point zero
me: still in Hong Kong?
8:46 PM Dave: of course
8:47 PM commercials aren't exactly few and far between
gotta pay the bills i guess
8:51 PM me: my initial reaction -- this show is already better than one tree hill
8:52 PM Dave: and every other show on CW
me: chad michael murray is the worst. actor. ever.
8:53 PM gossip girl has a huge fan base but i am not part of it
Dave: I am really glad they're not trying to make people the new dylan or the new brandon etc....
i like that the adults are part of the drama
although, there are a ton of characters to keep up with
8:55 PM me: Naomi's party has a Peach Pit After Dark feel
shouldn't Steve Sanders be working the door?
8:56 PM Dave: who is the person singing?
9:00 PM me: is that Laguna Beach?
9:01 PM where is Ryan Atwood and Seth Cohen?
9:05 PM Come to think of it -- this show has more of an OC feel than BH9er
9:08 PM Dave: who is this guy? he wasn't in the first hour
9:10 PM me: he's got some pipes
9:11 PM ty collins
nice sweater bro
9:13 PM Dave: that was an aggressive slap
me: he got jacked up
9:14 PM Dave: it was weird - annie was all into ethan, but was sad when her Kansas boyfriend broke up with her
9:15 PM now she likes ty
9:16 PM me: yeah i thought that was weird
9:17 PM silver's blog is a perfect example of how 90210 has adapted to the times
Dave: wait, is jamie from real world san diego samuri girl?
did you just see that commercial?
me: yes
i saw that commercial a few months ago
weird huh?
9:18 PM Smallville is still on the air?
Dave: yep -
back to the peach pit
9:19 PM me: Do you think Navid listens to Fall Out Boy?
Ty has a Bentley
9:20 PM that puts Steve's Corvette to shame
9:24 PM Dave: not only does Navid listen to FOB, he prob rubs out that easy one to pics of Pete Wentz
9:26 PM me: Kelly and Mr. Matthews? Don't dip your pen in the company ink!
9:28 PM Brenda, Kelly, and Nat together again
9:30 PM Brandon in Belize?
9:32 PM Dave: is there anything in belize?
9:33 PM me: people go there for mission work
maybe a little bit of tourism
B Dubbs is probably doing the former
| 7 minutes |
9:41 PM Dave: who's your pick for kelly's kid's dad?
9:42 PM me: i bet the writers leave it open for debate -- just in case Brandon or Dylan agrees to come back
i will guess Dylan
if the show is successful, Dylan will come back -- Luke Perry needs the work
9:43 PM Dave: true
but kelly said she was talking to brandon at 3am when she was with brenda
9:46 PM me: you raise a good point
9:47 PM i wonder what ray pruit is up to now?
9:48 PM not the actor, but the fictional character
9:50 PM Dave: living with his mother still?
9:51 PM me: still banging Valerie and pushing Donna down staircases
9:52 PM Dave: i forgot that he hooked up with val
did that actually happen?
9:56 PM me: Brenda and Kelly seem to be getting along swimmingly
I wonder what it's like off-camera
9:59 PM Jackie Taylor is back next week
Dave: i see
me: who will be next?
Dave: i give the first show a 9.9 out of 10
10:00 PM me: that a little high but it was good
as good as expected
it's a solid set of characters
10:01 PM in conclusion -- we did NOT overhype the show
Dave: correct
10:02 PM me: let's see how this conversation looks in the blogosphere
it could be funny or lame or a little of both
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Ramblings
• The Olympics exceeded all of my expectations. Prior to the games, I had never stayed up until 1 A.M. watching gymnastics (men’s and women’s) and women’s beach volleyball. During the last two weeks, I did it at least five times. One night, when the clock struck 1:10 A.M. and I had just stayed up for the women’s gymnastic floor exercise medal ceremony, I realized that my Olympic Fever was out of control. The top highlights for me were Michael Phelps, the Redeem Team, May and Walsh, the men’s 100 and 200 meter dashes, and the women’s all-around gymnastics. Speaking of the track and field sprints, I was correct when I wrote (in my August 8 post) that Tyson Gay would face “tough competition from a duo of Jamaican sprinters.” However, I did not know that Usain “Lightning” Bolt would by a household name by the end of the week after breaking world records in the 100 and 200 meters. If you are wondering who Tyson Gay is – he’s the American sprinter that failed to qualify for the 100 meter final.
• One of the best-kept secrets on Time Warner Cable is a channel called Fox Reality. The channel just airs bad reality shows all day – mostly ones that were canceled. On Saturday, I happened to catch the last two episodes of a “My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss” marathon. “Obnoxious Boss” is a gem of a reality show that was canceled mid-season in 2005. (Yes, the same bastards that canceled “Arrested Development”). The finale was worth the wait! If I had to sum up the show in one sentence – it is the Apprentice meets Joe Schmo. In other words, several contestants are competing to work for a fake company called Iocor. All of Iocor’s fake employees are actors, including N. Paul Todd – the Donald Trump of the show. N. Paul Todd messes with their minds, shoots them with paint ball guns, and eggs them on in ridiculous challenges. Todd's counterpart to Trump's "You're fired" is the always-hilarious tagline "Get the hell out of my office!" On the last episode, Todd breaks the news to the final two contestants that he is an actor and this competition is a joke. The contestants feel stupid, but are quickly reassured that the prize money is real. Then, a monkey in a suit and tie spins a wheel to decide the winner. Bravo, Fox Reality!
• Is it bad that I spent 4 hours of my work day researching fantasy football? The war room was tense, but the draft went well last night.
• The UVa administration announced last week that no signs will be allowed at football games. Not just offensive or vulgar signs – no signs at all. No “SportsCenter is Next,” no “Go Hoos,” no “Fire Groh.” I don’t understand the rationale behind this rule. I have sat behind jackasses with huge signs and sometimes it sucks, but I don’t think they used obstruction of fans’ view as a reason for the rule change. Why are UVa athletics turning into Vanderbilt?
• REMINDER: “90210” premieres in one week (Tuesday, September 2 at 8:00 on the CW). Will Jason Priestley appear? Will something else traumatic happen to Kelly Taylor or will she serve as more of supporting character this time around? Will the new characters try too hard to emulate the old West Beverly cast? Will I ask any more rhetorical questions?
• One of the best-kept secrets on Time Warner Cable is a channel called Fox Reality. The channel just airs bad reality shows all day – mostly ones that were canceled. On Saturday, I happened to catch the last two episodes of a “My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss” marathon. “Obnoxious Boss” is a gem of a reality show that was canceled mid-season in 2005. (Yes, the same bastards that canceled “Arrested Development”). The finale was worth the wait! If I had to sum up the show in one sentence – it is the Apprentice meets Joe Schmo. In other words, several contestants are competing to work for a fake company called Iocor. All of Iocor’s fake employees are actors, including N. Paul Todd – the Donald Trump of the show. N. Paul Todd messes with their minds, shoots them with paint ball guns, and eggs them on in ridiculous challenges. Todd's counterpart to Trump's "You're fired" is the always-hilarious tagline "Get the hell out of my office!" On the last episode, Todd breaks the news to the final two contestants that he is an actor and this competition is a joke. The contestants feel stupid, but are quickly reassured that the prize money is real. Then, a monkey in a suit and tie spins a wheel to decide the winner. Bravo, Fox Reality!
• Is it bad that I spent 4 hours of my work day researching fantasy football? The war room was tense, but the draft went well last night.
• The UVa administration announced last week that no signs will be allowed at football games. Not just offensive or vulgar signs – no signs at all. No “SportsCenter is Next,” no “Go Hoos,” no “Fire Groh.” I don’t understand the rationale behind this rule. I have sat behind jackasses with huge signs and sometimes it sucks, but I don’t think they used obstruction of fans’ view as a reason for the rule change. Why are UVa athletics turning into Vanderbilt?
• REMINDER: “90210” premieres in one week (Tuesday, September 2 at 8:00 on the CW). Will Jason Priestley appear? Will something else traumatic happen to Kelly Taylor or will she serve as more of supporting character this time around? Will the new characters try too hard to emulate the old West Beverly cast? Will I ask any more rhetorical questions?
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
20 Reasons Why "The Hills" Sucks
The new season of "The Hills" started last night, and -- guess what -- nothing of consequence happened. Why do I watch this show? Why is my DVR set up to record every new episode? I wanted to come up with a list of 10 reasons why the show blows, and I easily came up with 20. I put about 10 minutes of thought into this list, and I am sure with more time I could come up with hundreds of reasons why no one should watch this program.
20) Spencer's flesh-colored beard.
19) Lo's personality.
18) Lauren's air of superiority.
17) Whitney's voice and the words that come out of her mouth.
16) 8-minute commercials.
15) Heidi's incessant complaining about her broken friendship with Lauren.
14) Justin Bobby's philosophical gibberish.
13) The everlasting tease of Brody and Lauren's relationship.
12) Heidi's music career.
11) The fact that these people are famous for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
10) The fact that Lauren eats every meal for free because MTV advertises the restaurant.
9) Watching Spencer sleep and watch TV is not compelling reality TV.
8) Audrina's delusion that she is a celebrity.
7) Heidi's delusion that her job is important.
6) The inability of Chop Culture to get a good read on She-Spencer (his sister) -- nice girl or manipulative bitch? I don't really care, but I'd like to know the truth.
5) Did I mention Lo's personality? Just making sure.
4) The fact that nothing exciting ever happens.
3) The fact that -- notwithstanding # 4 -- I still must watch every week.
2) The mere hypothetical thought of Heidi and Spencer's offspring.
1) The only thing worse than the acting is the writing (yes, it's scripted).
20) Spencer's flesh-colored beard.
19) Lo's personality.
18) Lauren's air of superiority.
17) Whitney's voice and the words that come out of her mouth.
16) 8-minute commercials.
15) Heidi's incessant complaining about her broken friendship with Lauren.
14) Justin Bobby's philosophical gibberish.
13) The everlasting tease of Brody and Lauren's relationship.
12) Heidi's music career.
11) The fact that these people are famous for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
10) The fact that Lauren eats every meal for free because MTV advertises the restaurant.
9) Watching Spencer sleep and watch TV is not compelling reality TV.
8) Audrina's delusion that she is a celebrity.
7) Heidi's delusion that her job is important.
6) The inability of Chop Culture to get a good read on She-Spencer (his sister) -- nice girl or manipulative bitch? I don't really care, but I'd like to know the truth.
5) Did I mention Lo's personality? Just making sure.
4) The fact that nothing exciting ever happens.
3) The fact that -- notwithstanding # 4 -- I still must watch every week.
2) The mere hypothetical thought of Heidi and Spencer's offspring.
1) The only thing worse than the acting is the writing (yes, it's scripted).
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Jonas Brothers
I had not heard of the Jonas Brothers until about 6 months ago, and now it seems like they're everywhere. Who are these guys? Are they for real or are they just a poor man's Hanson? I don't have a commentary here -- I am seriously just wondering if they are legit. If you know anything about them, please post a comment. This post is really just a reason for me to post the following video:
My brother found this article from Rolling Stone about the Jonas Brothers -- perhaps calling them a poor man's Hanson was a bit harsh...
http://www.rollingstone.com/news/coverstory/21896731
My brother found this article from Rolling Stone about the Jonas Brothers -- perhaps calling them a poor man's Hanson was a bit harsh...
http://www.rollingstone.com/news/coverstory/21896731
Friday, August 8, 2008
Olympic Fever
I only give a damn about track and field every four years. I publicly mock anyone who swims competitively -- except during a 2-week span every fourth summer. Fencing only piques my interest every...wait a minute, fencing sucks. I don't even watch that during the Olympics. Anyway, I get excited about most Olympic sports even if I choose not to follow a particular sport during the 3.96 years in between Olympics. The 2008 games in Beijing begin tonight and I have OLYMPIC FEVER.
Here's what I am most interested in:
1) Michael Phelps' quest for 8 gold medals in swimming: He will compete in 8 events in 9 days. He will swim over 30 miles during this year's Olympics. I expect to see a lot fewer Speedos this year too now that most swimmers wear the full body, skin tight LZR Racer now (yes, I looked up the name).
2) The Redeem Team: This year's men's basketball team is not the Dream Team of 1992, but it may be the second best team ever assembled. Anything less than gold will be a huge disappointment.
3) Tyson Gay: The US sprinter was injured a few weeks ago and missed the trials for the 200 m. He will still compete in the 100 m and faces tough competition from a duo of Jamaican sprinters. Will the injury affect him? I know I can't wait to find out.
4) The protesters: The Olympic Committee set up a designated area for protesting. As the late Mitch Hedberg said, "I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it."
5) Soccer: The US is in the same opening group as the Netherlands and Nigeria. If that doesn't get you excited, 19-year old phenom Freddy Adu will be suiting up for the US.
If you don't have Olympic Fever yet, watch this video and tune into NBC, MSNBC, CNBC, and any other channel under the NBC umbrella during the next 2 weeks.
Here's what I am most interested in:
1) Michael Phelps' quest for 8 gold medals in swimming: He will compete in 8 events in 9 days. He will swim over 30 miles during this year's Olympics. I expect to see a lot fewer Speedos this year too now that most swimmers wear the full body, skin tight LZR Racer now (yes, I looked up the name).
2) The Redeem Team: This year's men's basketball team is not the Dream Team of 1992, but it may be the second best team ever assembled. Anything less than gold will be a huge disappointment.
3) Tyson Gay: The US sprinter was injured a few weeks ago and missed the trials for the 200 m. He will still compete in the 100 m and faces tough competition from a duo of Jamaican sprinters. Will the injury affect him? I know I can't wait to find out.
4) The protesters: The Olympic Committee set up a designated area for protesting. As the late Mitch Hedberg said, "I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it."
5) Soccer: The US is in the same opening group as the Netherlands and Nigeria. If that doesn't get you excited, 19-year old phenom Freddy Adu will be suiting up for the US.
If you don't have Olympic Fever yet, watch this video and tune into NBC, MSNBC, CNBC, and any other channel under the NBC umbrella during the next 2 weeks.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
The 10 Biggest Inferiority Complexes in Sports
Some sports teams are inferior to their rivals. Other sports teams are inferior to their rivals, but mistakenly believe they are equal or better. Finally, some sports teams are not inferior to their rivals, but they do not get as much attention or support as their inferior rivals. No matter which category the following teams or players are placed in, they all have one constant: an inferiority complex.
10) New York Mets (inferiority complex to the Yankees): Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of Mets fans and plenty of people that hate the Yankees. But most baseball fans in New York are Yankees fans and most people that hate the Yankees cheer for the Red Sox. Hypothetically, if the Mets were to make it to the World Series and the Yankees did not, there would be much more discussion about the failures of the Yanks and the future of its players and manager than there would be the Mets' success. On the other hand, the Mets get quite a bit of attention when they fail -- like last season when they blew an 8-game division lead in less than two weeks before the playoffs.
9) Andy Roddick (to Federer and Nadal): After watching this year's Wimbledon final between Federer and Nadal, I came to the disappointing conclusion that Andy Roddick will never win another Grand Slam event (he has 1 -- 2003 US Open). He cannot hang with them. Roddick's rivalry with Federer and Nadal falls in to the actual inferiority category. He is not as good as them and he knows it. He has the ability to beat either of them on a given day, but he mentally psychs himself out in major tournaments -- even when he is not playing one of them.
8) ACC Football (to SEC football): It pains me to admit this one, but it is true. The ACC expanded to 12 teams in hopes of becoming an elite super-conference with a compelling Championship Game. It has not exactly worked out as planned so far. A 1-9 record in BCS games over the past decade has not helped. Miami and Florida State have fallen from grace recently. Clemson has not been able to break through into a consistent top 10 team. Virginia Tech has disappointed in BCS games. Virginia has been too distracted by the brie cheese and smoked salmon at its tailgates to make a legitimate run at a major bowl. Most reasonable ACC fans will admit that the SEC is a better football conference, but ACC fans still hold out eternal hope that the ACC will work its way back to national recognition as an elite conference.
7) SEC basketball (to ACC basketball): In my opinion, the gap between ACC basketball and SEC basketball is AT LEAST as big as the gap between SEC football and ACC football. SEC basketball is Kentucky and a two-year run for Florida. Tennessee is an up-and-coming program, but they have proven nothing yet. LSU has some sporadic success -- but so does Georgia Tech football. UK hoops have become as mediocre as FSU and Miami football --- all will recover in time, but SEC basketball will not get respect until UK returns to its elite status (same goes FSU and Miami football in relation to ACC football).
6) Air Force football (to Army and Navy): Hear me out on this one. I realize that Air Force has a much better football program than Army and arguably a better program than Navy. However, does anyone ever talk about Air Force? Army and Navy can each be 2-9 going into their game against each other, and it will still be compelling television. People want to watch Army-Navy. If one team has a shot at going to a bowl, it becomes even more interesting. Air Force could be 10-0 and playing against an undefeated team -- say, BYU -- in a late season game, but if the game falls on the same day as Army-Navy then it will not get as much attention. Air Force gets no respect compared the other armed forces -- at least when it comes to football.
5) LA Clippers (to Lakers): Does anyone outside of LA even know that the Clips play in the same arena as the Lakers? Granted, the Lakers have had much more success than the Clips so I can understand why most fans in LA ignore the Clippers. However, even when the Clips made the playoffs in 2006 for the first time in 13 years, no one cared. When Kobe was a free agent a few years ago, he considered an offer from the Clippers and people reacted as if he had considered an offer for the clap.
4) Texas A&M football (to Texas): This game is obviously huge in the state of Texas, but few people care about it nationally. It is the third longest-running rivalry in Division I-A football, but Texas has dominated the series (73-36-5). Most football fans around the nation would agree that Texas-Oklahoma is a bigger rivalry and a more important game -- often with national championship implications.
3) NC State basketball (to UNC and Duke basketball): This one falls into the "inferior but think they're equal" category. Most NC State fans think it is still 1974. David Thompson is not walking through that door. Even the fluke that was the 1983 national championship (I love Jimmy V but that team was not that good) does not keep State among the elite teams in the country 25 years later. I hate Duke and have a strong aversion to UNC, but -- as an objective observer -- those two programs shit on NC State. Herb Sendak brought modest yet productive results as the coach of the Wolfpack, but the fans did not embrace him because he brought no Final 4 appearances. Sendak jumped ship for Arizona State (who could blame him) and the school's "national" coaching search went nowhere. Did they really expect John Calipari to come to Raleigh and have to recruit on Tobacco Road? They settled for Sidney Lowe -- he led them to an improbable ACC tournament run in 2007, but the high expectations for 2008 were quickly turned into disappointment and whispers about Lowe's job security. I would like to see Lowe turn the program around, but it is time for the fans to lower their expectations. An ACC title is a more reasonable goal than a national championship at this point in time.
2) Phil Mickelson (to El Tigre): Most golf fans would agree that Phil is the 2nd best golfer in the world and has been for the last decade. He is certainly capable of winning a tournament even if Tiger is in the field -- as long as he is not paired in the same group with Tiger and as long as Tiger is not in contention on Sunday. Also, memo to the next Ryder Cup captain: don't pair Tiger and Phil in the same twosome. They don't like each other and are too competitive even when on the same team. Not only is Tiger better than Phil at golf, he is also mentally stronger. Phil should see some success this year since Tiger is out with a knee injury.
1) Chicago White Sox (to Chicago Cubs): Talk about no respect. This is the same White Sox team that won the 2005 World Series (and the same Cubs team that last won the World Series in 1908). I would guess that the Cubs are the third most popular baseball team in the country (behind Yanks and Red Sox). I would also guess that the White Sox are a distant second most popular team in Chicago. I have heard nonstop talk about the Cubs' success this year. I only knew that the White Sox were winning their division because I looked up the standings after their trade for Ken Griffey, Jr. Speaking of that trade, don't you think the media would have made a bigger deal about the trade if Griffey went to the Cubs? Me too.
I am sure I inadvertently left out many inferiority complexes in sports. Let me know what I missed. Does anyone read this blog?
10) New York Mets (inferiority complex to the Yankees): Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of Mets fans and plenty of people that hate the Yankees. But most baseball fans in New York are Yankees fans and most people that hate the Yankees cheer for the Red Sox. Hypothetically, if the Mets were to make it to the World Series and the Yankees did not, there would be much more discussion about the failures of the Yanks and the future of its players and manager than there would be the Mets' success. On the other hand, the Mets get quite a bit of attention when they fail -- like last season when they blew an 8-game division lead in less than two weeks before the playoffs.
9) Andy Roddick (to Federer and Nadal): After watching this year's Wimbledon final between Federer and Nadal, I came to the disappointing conclusion that Andy Roddick will never win another Grand Slam event (he has 1 -- 2003 US Open). He cannot hang with them. Roddick's rivalry with Federer and Nadal falls in to the actual inferiority category. He is not as good as them and he knows it. He has the ability to beat either of them on a given day, but he mentally psychs himself out in major tournaments -- even when he is not playing one of them.
8) ACC Football (to SEC football): It pains me to admit this one, but it is true. The ACC expanded to 12 teams in hopes of becoming an elite super-conference with a compelling Championship Game. It has not exactly worked out as planned so far. A 1-9 record in BCS games over the past decade has not helped. Miami and Florida State have fallen from grace recently. Clemson has not been able to break through into a consistent top 10 team. Virginia Tech has disappointed in BCS games. Virginia has been too distracted by the brie cheese and smoked salmon at its tailgates to make a legitimate run at a major bowl. Most reasonable ACC fans will admit that the SEC is a better football conference, but ACC fans still hold out eternal hope that the ACC will work its way back to national recognition as an elite conference.
7) SEC basketball (to ACC basketball): In my opinion, the gap between ACC basketball and SEC basketball is AT LEAST as big as the gap between SEC football and ACC football. SEC basketball is Kentucky and a two-year run for Florida. Tennessee is an up-and-coming program, but they have proven nothing yet. LSU has some sporadic success -- but so does Georgia Tech football. UK hoops have become as mediocre as FSU and Miami football --- all will recover in time, but SEC basketball will not get respect until UK returns to its elite status (same goes FSU and Miami football in relation to ACC football).
6) Air Force football (to Army and Navy): Hear me out on this one. I realize that Air Force has a much better football program than Army and arguably a better program than Navy. However, does anyone ever talk about Air Force? Army and Navy can each be 2-9 going into their game against each other, and it will still be compelling television. People want to watch Army-Navy. If one team has a shot at going to a bowl, it becomes even more interesting. Air Force could be 10-0 and playing against an undefeated team -- say, BYU -- in a late season game, but if the game falls on the same day as Army-Navy then it will not get as much attention. Air Force gets no respect compared the other armed forces -- at least when it comes to football.
5) LA Clippers (to Lakers): Does anyone outside of LA even know that the Clips play in the same arena as the Lakers? Granted, the Lakers have had much more success than the Clips so I can understand why most fans in LA ignore the Clippers. However, even when the Clips made the playoffs in 2006 for the first time in 13 years, no one cared. When Kobe was a free agent a few years ago, he considered an offer from the Clippers and people reacted as if he had considered an offer for the clap.
4) Texas A&M football (to Texas): This game is obviously huge in the state of Texas, but few people care about it nationally. It is the third longest-running rivalry in Division I-A football, but Texas has dominated the series (73-36-5). Most football fans around the nation would agree that Texas-Oklahoma is a bigger rivalry and a more important game -- often with national championship implications.
3) NC State basketball (to UNC and Duke basketball): This one falls into the "inferior but think they're equal" category. Most NC State fans think it is still 1974. David Thompson is not walking through that door. Even the fluke that was the 1983 national championship (I love Jimmy V but that team was not that good) does not keep State among the elite teams in the country 25 years later. I hate Duke and have a strong aversion to UNC, but -- as an objective observer -- those two programs shit on NC State. Herb Sendak brought modest yet productive results as the coach of the Wolfpack, but the fans did not embrace him because he brought no Final 4 appearances. Sendak jumped ship for Arizona State (who could blame him) and the school's "national" coaching search went nowhere. Did they really expect John Calipari to come to Raleigh and have to recruit on Tobacco Road? They settled for Sidney Lowe -- he led them to an improbable ACC tournament run in 2007, but the high expectations for 2008 were quickly turned into disappointment and whispers about Lowe's job security. I would like to see Lowe turn the program around, but it is time for the fans to lower their expectations. An ACC title is a more reasonable goal than a national championship at this point in time.
2) Phil Mickelson (to El Tigre): Most golf fans would agree that Phil is the 2nd best golfer in the world and has been for the last decade. He is certainly capable of winning a tournament even if Tiger is in the field -- as long as he is not paired in the same group with Tiger and as long as Tiger is not in contention on Sunday. Also, memo to the next Ryder Cup captain: don't pair Tiger and Phil in the same twosome. They don't like each other and are too competitive even when on the same team. Not only is Tiger better than Phil at golf, he is also mentally stronger. Phil should see some success this year since Tiger is out with a knee injury.
1) Chicago White Sox (to Chicago Cubs): Talk about no respect. This is the same White Sox team that won the 2005 World Series (and the same Cubs team that last won the World Series in 1908). I would guess that the Cubs are the third most popular baseball team in the country (behind Yanks and Red Sox). I would also guess that the White Sox are a distant second most popular team in Chicago. I have heard nonstop talk about the Cubs' success this year. I only knew that the White Sox were winning their division because I looked up the standings after their trade for Ken Griffey, Jr. Speaking of that trade, don't you think the media would have made a bigger deal about the trade if Griffey went to the Cubs? Me too.
I am sure I inadvertently left out many inferiority complexes in sports. Let me know what I missed. Does anyone read this blog?
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Revisiting a 2001 Post from The Onion
I am working on some good blogs that I will post next week when I have more time. For now, enjoy this classic post from The Onion in 2001.
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33426
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33426
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Drew Carey Was the Right Choice -- No Pun Intended
How do you replace a legend like Bob Barker? I assumed The Price is Right would be canceled the day Bob Barker retired. But then what would senior citizens and kids on summer vacation watch at 11 AM? SportsCenter for the third time? The View? Let's hope not.
So, once the decision was made to continue the program, the difficult selection process began. Do you hire someone with game show experience? An actor? Someone similar to Bob Barker or someone completely different? I heard rumors about George Hamilton (actor with the same tan as Bob), John O'Hurley (J. Peterman on Seinfeld, also has hosting experience from the Family Feud), and Rosie O'Donnell. Those options did not do anything for me (especially Rosie). Drew Carey was an intriguing possibility because he was a moderately well-known actor/comedian. Who knew he was even interested in the job?
Yet even when Drew Carey was selected, I doubted that he or anyone could live up to the standard set by Bob Barker. I still believe that is true, but I have been impressed with Carey so far. I have only seen about 10 episodes since Drew took over in October (having a job sucks), but you can tell he is having fun with it. He is energetic, funny, and most importantly, nothing like Bob Barker. He is doing it his own way, rather than trying to emulate Barker.
Future senior citizens and future elementary school-aged couch potatoes will never know Bob Barker -- but they can still enjoy The Price is Right (and multiple AARP and life insurance commercials) every weekday at 11 AM.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Good riddance, Billy Packer
I have never been a fan of Jim Nantz, but I will admit he has an announcer's voice. Nantz's play-by-play performance in March Madness is generally satisfactory. The guy was born to announce the Masters. I think most people would agree that Billy Packer is not a good basketball analyst. Color commentators are paid to give insights and maybe even opinions, but no one cares about Packer's opinion anymore (not sure if anyone ever did). The game has passed him by. He has ruffled too many feathers and burned too many bridges. His basketball knowledge is vast, but his announcing skills leave much to be desired. How has he been retained to cover 34 consecutive Final Fours? As Barry Horn of the Dallas Morning News recently wrote: "As the years passed ... he grew overbearing, arrogant, condescending, dismissive and petulant. There is only so much anyone can take from a know-it-all uncle who humorlessly preaches he is the smartest man in the room. Most viewers have long had their fill of Packer."
CBS finally made the right call and announced that the network and Packer reached an "agreement" that he will not announce any more college basketball games for the network. CBS announced that Clark Kellogg will be Packer's replacement -- not a bad choice but why no love for Bill Raftery or Gus Johnson?
I will not miss Packer calling Allen Iverson a "tough little monkey" or arguing with coaches and NCAA Tournament selection chairs about seeding and the amount of mid-majors in the Big Dance. I saw a recent interview with Packer, in which he contended he had never seen YouTube. Ironically, I found the below videos on YouTube that illustrate why I do not like this man -- or at least do not like him as an announcer.
(After Packer announced that the game was "over" with 27 minutes to go, UNC cut the lead to 4 -- although they did lose).
CBS finally made the right call and announced that the network and Packer reached an "agreement" that he will not announce any more college basketball games for the network. CBS announced that Clark Kellogg will be Packer's replacement -- not a bad choice but why no love for Bill Raftery or Gus Johnson?
I will not miss Packer calling Allen Iverson a "tough little monkey" or arguing with coaches and NCAA Tournament selection chairs about seeding and the amount of mid-majors in the Big Dance. I saw a recent interview with Packer, in which he contended he had never seen YouTube. Ironically, I found the below videos on YouTube that illustrate why I do not like this man -- or at least do not like him as an announcer.
(After Packer announced that the game was "over" with 27 minutes to go, UNC cut the lead to 4 -- although they did lose).