Duke

I hate Duke basketball. I hate Duke basketball in a way that is different from all other sports teams that I hate. I hate the Patriots and the Spurs because they win far more often than they lose, and they are both a little boring to me. I hate UNC basketball because they beat Virginia (my college sports team of choice) more often than "we" beat them, but I have nothing personal against UNC. Sometimes I am jealous of UNC fans because of their team's success in hoops.

I am never jealous of Duke fans. Duke beats us quite often as well, but that is not why I hate them. I hate them because they get 75% of important calls in big REGULAR season games (Kyle Singler, ABOVE LEFT, not carrying the ball), they refuse to play legitimate non-conference road games, they consistently recruit the biggest (not in stature) caucasian tools in the country, they exclusively hire former Duke players (usually caucasian tools) as assistant coaches, and the Cameron Crazies are by far the nerdiest group of individuals ever assembled under one roof.

I will be the first to admit that Coach K is a great coach. However, he has ACC refs wrapped around his finger, and his teams often collapse in March when his teams get less favorable calls. He has 3 National Championships, but I can safely say that he has had the most talented team in the country in at least 5 of the last 15 years---a span in which Duke has one title.

Simply put, it is fun to hate Duke!