Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.

I love Christmas, but I can't completely embrace it for obvious reasons (see Nov. 11 blog if you are confused). I like candy and dressing up in costumes so Halloween is right up my alley, but it rarely falls on a weekend and it's not socially acceptable for me to trick-or-treat anymore. I wish I gave a shit about whether Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow or not...but I don't. So, Groundhog Day is out of contention.

Thanksgiving is about as good as it gets -- albeit it without presents or candy. Here's how my day usually unfolds:

10:00 AM: Wake up. Turn on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Sike, Sportscenter.

11:00 AM: Play football outside -- Pilgrims vs. Indians.

12:30 PM: Watch my Detroit Lions in their only nationally-televised game of the year.

12:31 PM: Snack heavily / drink lightly.

2:00 PM: Halftime. Express my frustration with my Lions. Drown my sorrows with another Whiskey Sour and more Chex Mix.

4:00 PM: Celebrate the Lions victory (just kidding, we lost again). Sit down for family dinner. Skip dessert for now.

5:30 PM: Casually watch the Cowboys game.

5:31 PM: Nap/pass out.

8:00 PM: Second wind. Did someone say pie?

The rest of the night: Drink heavily / snack lightly.

Seriously, what a day! I should note that I squeeze just enough "family time" in between each step of my day. I could see this day being less enjoyable if (a) you have kids, (b) you go to someone else's house for dinner (that would eliminate the "nap" portion of the day), (c) you don't get along with your extended family (luckily I don't have any annoying cousins / nieces / nephews), (d) you are not a Lions fan (99.9% of the population), (e) you have any responsibilities whatsoever, or (f) you don't appreciate gravy on the same level as me.