Ramblings

Chop Culture is back. You can thank Dell for my absence. Michael Dell would be rolling over in his grave if he knew how poor Dell's customer service has become or how shitty the products have become. What? Michael Dell isn't dead? Michael, get your shit together! Your company blows! It took your imcompetent staff 6 weeks to fix my computer! Your outsourced customer service department tried to sell me a new battery, memory stick, and external hard drive while I tried to explained to them that I just wanted to get my f'ing computer fixed before I stated thinking about dropping more money into your joke of a company.

Ok, now that I've got that off my chest, let's get the ramblings started. A lot has happened since I last posted --- among other things Brett Favre is back, Kurt Rambis and Bill Laimbeer have joined forces to coach the T-Wolves, and I celebrated the 7-year anniversary of my 21st birthday.

• BDF informed my that if you Google "Pinsky Family Salami," Chop Culture is the first thing to come up. That's awesome. It got my thinking --- what other Google searches would come back with Chop Culture at the top. Since I am at my work computer right now, I decided not to look up anything to risque. By far the best search that yielded a hit on Chop Culture was "Mr. Ernst Bromance."

• Sports and TV have been slow this summer. I am excited about several returning TV shows. The following are my top 10 returning scripted TV shows this Fall:

10) Big Bang Theory (CBS) - It's kind of nerdy, but it grows on you.

9) The Office (NBC) - I wish they'd stay away from dramatic themes.

8) Eastbound and Down (HBO) - Rent Season 1 (only 6 episodes) if you haven't seen it.

7) Southland (NBC) - Ryan Atwood goes from Chino delinquent to LAPD.

6) How I Met Your Mother (CBS) - Give me more Barney Stinson and less Ted Mosby.

5) Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO) - The Seinfeld cast will supposedly appear this season.

4) Mad Men (AMC) - One of the best shows on TV.

3) It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX) - One critic calls it "Seinfeld on crack."

2) Damages (FX) - My favorite legal drama of all-time.

1) Friday Night Lights (NBC/DirecTV) - There are two reasons I just switched to DirecTV and this show is one of them. NBC won't get Season 4 until next summer. Ouch, Time Warner and Comcast subscribers.

• College football is back and that is exciting. UVa's embarrassing loss to William & Mary was disheartening, but it does not ruin the fever for me. I really need to help ESPN out with their Thursday night halftime programming though. Dr. Lou (Holtz) is a stupid segment. It's time to bring back Coach Lou's halftime pep talk. Lou does not belong in a chair -- he belongs in front of the chalkboard and I need him to pump me up.

• I just read a great book called "Dixieland Delight" by Clay Travis. Clay is a Tennessee fan who traveled to all 12 SEC stadiums during the 2006 football season and recorded his experiences. The whole book is outstanding, but one tidbit that I especially enjoyed was Clay's take on a hairstyle he coined "Bama Bangs." It's also known as the "Southern Swoop," the "frat swoop," or "tellums" (mullet spelled backwards). Essentially, Bama Bangs are haircuts that cover the forehead in a swooping fashion but are short like a regular haircut in the back. I am familiar with this hairstyle from my days on The Hill at Hampden-Sydney. A friend of mine even tried to tell me that I have Bama Bangs. Let me defend myself. First, I don't swoop up front. There is a bit of a party in the front and my forehead is mostly covered, but I promise you this -- there is a party in the back too. Except for the 2 weeks immediately after a haircut, you could even say I have a miniature mullet. So, in summary, I don't have Bama Bangs.

• Is there a more lovable athlete in the world than Shaq? Is there even a close second? I recntly watched 2 episodes of Shaq's new TV show called "Shaq Vs." in which he competes with athletes in their sport. For example, he played homerun derby with Albert Pujols, swam against Michael Phelps, and played football against Ben Roethlisberger. There is always a handicap (i.e., Shaq swims a shorter distance than Phelps). Shaq is always entertaining and always adored by the crowd. He is surprisingly athletic at every sport he's tried. There is no doubt that the Diesel will be in a broadcasting booth or in some field of entertainment as soon as he retires.

• Earlier, I mentioned that Kurt Rambis is the new head coach of the Minnesota Timberwolves and he hired Bill Laimbeer as his top assistant. Talk about a dream team of coaches! The scrappiest player of his era (Rambis) has joined forces with the dirtiest player of his era (Laimbeer). Rambis was the guy that did all the little things on championship teams. Laimbeer was the baddest of Detroit's Bad Boys. The combination of this unlikely pair would be like if Manu Ginoboli became head coach of an NBA team in 2025 and hired Ron Artest as his top assistant. Unbelievable.

• GQ has put out it's top 25 douchiest colleges -- not surpringly, UVa and Randolph-Macon made the cut.

http://men.style.com/gq/features/slideshow/v/0909COLLEGE

• Why does every pro football analyst on ESPN called the NFL the "National Football League"? I know that's what NFL stands for, but why not just call it the NFL? Almost all NBA analysts called thier league the NBA. Next time you watch NFL Live, notice how rarely those guys use the acronym.