• The Olympics exceeded all of my expectations. Prior to the games, I had never stayed up until 1 A.M. watching gymnastics (men’s and women’s) and women’s beach volleyball. During the last two weeks, I did it at least five times. One night, when the clock struck 1:10 A.M. and I had just stayed up for the women’s gymnastic floor exercise medal ceremony, I realized that my Olympic Fever was out of control. The top highlights for me were Michael Phelps, the Redeem Team, May and Walsh, the men’s 100 and 200 meter dashes, and the women’s all-around gymnastics. Speaking of the track and field sprints, I was correct when I wrote (in my August 8 post) that Tyson Gay would face “tough competition from a duo of Jamaican sprinters.” However, I did not know that Usain “Lightning” Bolt would by a household name by the end of the week after breaking world records in the 100 and 200 meters. If you are wondering who Tyson Gay is – he’s the American sprinter that failed to qualify for the 100 meter final.
• One of the best-kept secrets on Time Warner Cable is a channel called Fox Reality. The channel just airs bad reality shows all day – mostly ones that were canceled. On Saturday, I happened to catch the last two episodes of a “My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss” marathon. “Obnoxious Boss” is a gem of a reality show that was canceled mid-season in 2005. (Yes, the same bastards that canceled “Arrested Development”). The finale was worth the wait! If I had to sum up the show in one sentence – it is the Apprentice meets Joe Schmo. In other words, several contestants are competing to work for a fake company called Iocor. All of Iocor’s fake employees are actors, including N. Paul Todd – the Donald Trump of the show. N. Paul Todd messes with their minds, shoots them with paint ball guns, and eggs them on in ridiculous challenges. Todd's counterpart to Trump's "You're fired" is the always-hilarious tagline "Get the hell out of my office!" On the last episode, Todd breaks the news to the final two contestants that he is an actor and this competition is a joke. The contestants feel stupid, but are quickly reassured that the prize money is real. Then, a monkey in a suit and tie spins a wheel to decide the winner. Bravo, Fox Reality!
• Is it bad that I spent 4 hours of my work day researching fantasy football? The war room was tense, but the draft went well last night.
• The UVa administration announced last week that no signs will be allowed at football games. Not just offensive or vulgar signs – no signs at all. No “SportsCenter is Next,” no “Go Hoos,” no “Fire Groh.” I don’t understand the rationale behind this rule. I have sat behind jackasses with huge signs and sometimes it sucks, but I don’t think they used obstruction of fans’ view as a reason for the rule change. Why are UVa athletics turning into Vanderbilt?
• REMINDER: “90210” premieres in one week (Tuesday, September 2 at 8:00 on the CW). Will Jason Priestley appear? Will something else traumatic happen to Kelly Taylor or will she serve as more of supporting character this time around? Will the new characters try too hard to emulate the old West Beverly cast? Will I ask any more rhetorical questions?
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
20 Reasons Why "The Hills" Sucks
The new season of "The Hills" started last night, and -- guess what -- nothing of consequence happened. Why do I watch this show? Why is my DVR set up to record every new episode? I wanted to come up with a list of 10 reasons why the show blows, and I easily came up with 20. I put about 10 minutes of thought into this list, and I am sure with more time I could come up with hundreds of reasons why no one should watch this program.
20) Spencer's flesh-colored beard.
19) Lo's personality.
18) Lauren's air of superiority.
17) Whitney's voice and the words that come out of her mouth.
16) 8-minute commercials.
15) Heidi's incessant complaining about her broken friendship with Lauren.
14) Justin Bobby's philosophical gibberish.
13) The everlasting tease of Brody and Lauren's relationship.
12) Heidi's music career.
11) The fact that these people are famous for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
10) The fact that Lauren eats every meal for free because MTV advertises the restaurant.
9) Watching Spencer sleep and watch TV is not compelling reality TV.
8) Audrina's delusion that she is a celebrity.
7) Heidi's delusion that her job is important.
6) The inability of Chop Culture to get a good read on She-Spencer (his sister) -- nice girl or manipulative bitch? I don't really care, but I'd like to know the truth.
5) Did I mention Lo's personality? Just making sure.
4) The fact that nothing exciting ever happens.
3) The fact that -- notwithstanding # 4 -- I still must watch every week.
2) The mere hypothetical thought of Heidi and Spencer's offspring.
1) The only thing worse than the acting is the writing (yes, it's scripted).
20) Spencer's flesh-colored beard.
19) Lo's personality.
18) Lauren's air of superiority.
17) Whitney's voice and the words that come out of her mouth.
16) 8-minute commercials.
15) Heidi's incessant complaining about her broken friendship with Lauren.
14) Justin Bobby's philosophical gibberish.
13) The everlasting tease of Brody and Lauren's relationship.
12) Heidi's music career.
11) The fact that these people are famous for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
10) The fact that Lauren eats every meal for free because MTV advertises the restaurant.
9) Watching Spencer sleep and watch TV is not compelling reality TV.
8) Audrina's delusion that she is a celebrity.
7) Heidi's delusion that her job is important.
6) The inability of Chop Culture to get a good read on She-Spencer (his sister) -- nice girl or manipulative bitch? I don't really care, but I'd like to know the truth.
5) Did I mention Lo's personality? Just making sure.
4) The fact that nothing exciting ever happens.
3) The fact that -- notwithstanding # 4 -- I still must watch every week.
2) The mere hypothetical thought of Heidi and Spencer's offspring.
1) The only thing worse than the acting is the writing (yes, it's scripted).
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Jonas Brothers
I had not heard of the Jonas Brothers until about 6 months ago, and now it seems like they're everywhere. Who are these guys? Are they for real or are they just a poor man's Hanson? I don't have a commentary here -- I am seriously just wondering if they are legit. If you know anything about them, please post a comment. This post is really just a reason for me to post the following video:
My brother found this article from Rolling Stone about the Jonas Brothers -- perhaps calling them a poor man's Hanson was a bit harsh...
http://www.rollingstone.com/news/coverstory/21896731
My brother found this article from Rolling Stone about the Jonas Brothers -- perhaps calling them a poor man's Hanson was a bit harsh...
http://www.rollingstone.com/news/coverstory/21896731
Friday, August 8, 2008
Olympic Fever
I only give a damn about track and field every four years. I publicly mock anyone who swims competitively -- except during a 2-week span every fourth summer. Fencing only piques my interest every...wait a minute, fencing sucks. I don't even watch that during the Olympics. Anyway, I get excited about most Olympic sports even if I choose not to follow a particular sport during the 3.96 years in between Olympics. The 2008 games in Beijing begin tonight and I have OLYMPIC FEVER.
Here's what I am most interested in:
1) Michael Phelps' quest for 8 gold medals in swimming: He will compete in 8 events in 9 days. He will swim over 30 miles during this year's Olympics. I expect to see a lot fewer Speedos this year too now that most swimmers wear the full body, skin tight LZR Racer now (yes, I looked up the name).
2) The Redeem Team: This year's men's basketball team is not the Dream Team of 1992, but it may be the second best team ever assembled. Anything less than gold will be a huge disappointment.
3) Tyson Gay: The US sprinter was injured a few weeks ago and missed the trials for the 200 m. He will still compete in the 100 m and faces tough competition from a duo of Jamaican sprinters. Will the injury affect him? I know I can't wait to find out.
4) The protesters: The Olympic Committee set up a designated area for protesting. As the late Mitch Hedberg said, "I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it."
5) Soccer: The US is in the same opening group as the Netherlands and Nigeria. If that doesn't get you excited, 19-year old phenom Freddy Adu will be suiting up for the US.
If you don't have Olympic Fever yet, watch this video and tune into NBC, MSNBC, CNBC, and any other channel under the NBC umbrella during the next 2 weeks.
Here's what I am most interested in:
1) Michael Phelps' quest for 8 gold medals in swimming: He will compete in 8 events in 9 days. He will swim over 30 miles during this year's Olympics. I expect to see a lot fewer Speedos this year too now that most swimmers wear the full body, skin tight LZR Racer now (yes, I looked up the name).
2) The Redeem Team: This year's men's basketball team is not the Dream Team of 1992, but it may be the second best team ever assembled. Anything less than gold will be a huge disappointment.
3) Tyson Gay: The US sprinter was injured a few weeks ago and missed the trials for the 200 m. He will still compete in the 100 m and faces tough competition from a duo of Jamaican sprinters. Will the injury affect him? I know I can't wait to find out.
4) The protesters: The Olympic Committee set up a designated area for protesting. As the late Mitch Hedberg said, "I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it."
5) Soccer: The US is in the same opening group as the Netherlands and Nigeria. If that doesn't get you excited, 19-year old phenom Freddy Adu will be suiting up for the US.
If you don't have Olympic Fever yet, watch this video and tune into NBC, MSNBC, CNBC, and any other channel under the NBC umbrella during the next 2 weeks.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
The 10 Biggest Inferiority Complexes in Sports
Some sports teams are inferior to their rivals. Other sports teams are inferior to their rivals, but mistakenly believe they are equal or better. Finally, some sports teams are not inferior to their rivals, but they do not get as much attention or support as their inferior rivals. No matter which category the following teams or players are placed in, they all have one constant: an inferiority complex.
10) New York Mets (inferiority complex to the Yankees): Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of Mets fans and plenty of people that hate the Yankees. But most baseball fans in New York are Yankees fans and most people that hate the Yankees cheer for the Red Sox. Hypothetically, if the Mets were to make it to the World Series and the Yankees did not, there would be much more discussion about the failures of the Yanks and the future of its players and manager than there would be the Mets' success. On the other hand, the Mets get quite a bit of attention when they fail -- like last season when they blew an 8-game division lead in less than two weeks before the playoffs.
9) Andy Roddick (to Federer and Nadal): After watching this year's Wimbledon final between Federer and Nadal, I came to the disappointing conclusion that Andy Roddick will never win another Grand Slam event (he has 1 -- 2003 US Open). He cannot hang with them. Roddick's rivalry with Federer and Nadal falls in to the actual inferiority category. He is not as good as them and he knows it. He has the ability to beat either of them on a given day, but he mentally psychs himself out in major tournaments -- even when he is not playing one of them.
8) ACC Football (to SEC football): It pains me to admit this one, but it is true. The ACC expanded to 12 teams in hopes of becoming an elite super-conference with a compelling Championship Game. It has not exactly worked out as planned so far. A 1-9 record in BCS games over the past decade has not helped. Miami and Florida State have fallen from grace recently. Clemson has not been able to break through into a consistent top 10 team. Virginia Tech has disappointed in BCS games. Virginia has been too distracted by the brie cheese and smoked salmon at its tailgates to make a legitimate run at a major bowl. Most reasonable ACC fans will admit that the SEC is a better football conference, but ACC fans still hold out eternal hope that the ACC will work its way back to national recognition as an elite conference.
7) SEC basketball (to ACC basketball): In my opinion, the gap between ACC basketball and SEC basketball is AT LEAST as big as the gap between SEC football and ACC football. SEC basketball is Kentucky and a two-year run for Florida. Tennessee is an up-and-coming program, but they have proven nothing yet. LSU has some sporadic success -- but so does Georgia Tech football. UK hoops have become as mediocre as FSU and Miami football --- all will recover in time, but SEC basketball will not get respect until UK returns to its elite status (same goes FSU and Miami football in relation to ACC football).
6) Air Force football (to Army and Navy): Hear me out on this one. I realize that Air Force has a much better football program than Army and arguably a better program than Navy. However, does anyone ever talk about Air Force? Army and Navy can each be 2-9 going into their game against each other, and it will still be compelling television. People want to watch Army-Navy. If one team has a shot at going to a bowl, it becomes even more interesting. Air Force could be 10-0 and playing against an undefeated team -- say, BYU -- in a late season game, but if the game falls on the same day as Army-Navy then it will not get as much attention. Air Force gets no respect compared the other armed forces -- at least when it comes to football.
5) LA Clippers (to Lakers): Does anyone outside of LA even know that the Clips play in the same arena as the Lakers? Granted, the Lakers have had much more success than the Clips so I can understand why most fans in LA ignore the Clippers. However, even when the Clips made the playoffs in 2006 for the first time in 13 years, no one cared. When Kobe was a free agent a few years ago, he considered an offer from the Clippers and people reacted as if he had considered an offer for the clap.
4) Texas A&M football (to Texas): This game is obviously huge in the state of Texas, but few people care about it nationally. It is the third longest-running rivalry in Division I-A football, but Texas has dominated the series (73-36-5). Most football fans around the nation would agree that Texas-Oklahoma is a bigger rivalry and a more important game -- often with national championship implications.
3) NC State basketball (to UNC and Duke basketball): This one falls into the "inferior but think they're equal" category. Most NC State fans think it is still 1974. David Thompson is not walking through that door. Even the fluke that was the 1983 national championship (I love Jimmy V but that team was not that good) does not keep State among the elite teams in the country 25 years later. I hate Duke and have a strong aversion to UNC, but -- as an objective observer -- those two programs shit on NC State. Herb Sendak brought modest yet productive results as the coach of the Wolfpack, but the fans did not embrace him because he brought no Final 4 appearances. Sendak jumped ship for Arizona State (who could blame him) and the school's "national" coaching search went nowhere. Did they really expect John Calipari to come to Raleigh and have to recruit on Tobacco Road? They settled for Sidney Lowe -- he led them to an improbable ACC tournament run in 2007, but the high expectations for 2008 were quickly turned into disappointment and whispers about Lowe's job security. I would like to see Lowe turn the program around, but it is time for the fans to lower their expectations. An ACC title is a more reasonable goal than a national championship at this point in time.
2) Phil Mickelson (to El Tigre): Most golf fans would agree that Phil is the 2nd best golfer in the world and has been for the last decade. He is certainly capable of winning a tournament even if Tiger is in the field -- as long as he is not paired in the same group with Tiger and as long as Tiger is not in contention on Sunday. Also, memo to the next Ryder Cup captain: don't pair Tiger and Phil in the same twosome. They don't like each other and are too competitive even when on the same team. Not only is Tiger better than Phil at golf, he is also mentally stronger. Phil should see some success this year since Tiger is out with a knee injury.
1) Chicago White Sox (to Chicago Cubs): Talk about no respect. This is the same White Sox team that won the 2005 World Series (and the same Cubs team that last won the World Series in 1908). I would guess that the Cubs are the third most popular baseball team in the country (behind Yanks and Red Sox). I would also guess that the White Sox are a distant second most popular team in Chicago. I have heard nonstop talk about the Cubs' success this year. I only knew that the White Sox were winning their division because I looked up the standings after their trade for Ken Griffey, Jr. Speaking of that trade, don't you think the media would have made a bigger deal about the trade if Griffey went to the Cubs? Me too.
I am sure I inadvertently left out many inferiority complexes in sports. Let me know what I missed. Does anyone read this blog?
10) New York Mets (inferiority complex to the Yankees): Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of Mets fans and plenty of people that hate the Yankees. But most baseball fans in New York are Yankees fans and most people that hate the Yankees cheer for the Red Sox. Hypothetically, if the Mets were to make it to the World Series and the Yankees did not, there would be much more discussion about the failures of the Yanks and the future of its players and manager than there would be the Mets' success. On the other hand, the Mets get quite a bit of attention when they fail -- like last season when they blew an 8-game division lead in less than two weeks before the playoffs.
9) Andy Roddick (to Federer and Nadal): After watching this year's Wimbledon final between Federer and Nadal, I came to the disappointing conclusion that Andy Roddick will never win another Grand Slam event (he has 1 -- 2003 US Open). He cannot hang with them. Roddick's rivalry with Federer and Nadal falls in to the actual inferiority category. He is not as good as them and he knows it. He has the ability to beat either of them on a given day, but he mentally psychs himself out in major tournaments -- even when he is not playing one of them.
8) ACC Football (to SEC football): It pains me to admit this one, but it is true. The ACC expanded to 12 teams in hopes of becoming an elite super-conference with a compelling Championship Game. It has not exactly worked out as planned so far. A 1-9 record in BCS games over the past decade has not helped. Miami and Florida State have fallen from grace recently. Clemson has not been able to break through into a consistent top 10 team. Virginia Tech has disappointed in BCS games. Virginia has been too distracted by the brie cheese and smoked salmon at its tailgates to make a legitimate run at a major bowl. Most reasonable ACC fans will admit that the SEC is a better football conference, but ACC fans still hold out eternal hope that the ACC will work its way back to national recognition as an elite conference.
7) SEC basketball (to ACC basketball): In my opinion, the gap between ACC basketball and SEC basketball is AT LEAST as big as the gap between SEC football and ACC football. SEC basketball is Kentucky and a two-year run for Florida. Tennessee is an up-and-coming program, but they have proven nothing yet. LSU has some sporadic success -- but so does Georgia Tech football. UK hoops have become as mediocre as FSU and Miami football --- all will recover in time, but SEC basketball will not get respect until UK returns to its elite status (same goes FSU and Miami football in relation to ACC football).
6) Air Force football (to Army and Navy): Hear me out on this one. I realize that Air Force has a much better football program than Army and arguably a better program than Navy. However, does anyone ever talk about Air Force? Army and Navy can each be 2-9 going into their game against each other, and it will still be compelling television. People want to watch Army-Navy. If one team has a shot at going to a bowl, it becomes even more interesting. Air Force could be 10-0 and playing against an undefeated team -- say, BYU -- in a late season game, but if the game falls on the same day as Army-Navy then it will not get as much attention. Air Force gets no respect compared the other armed forces -- at least when it comes to football.
5) LA Clippers (to Lakers): Does anyone outside of LA even know that the Clips play in the same arena as the Lakers? Granted, the Lakers have had much more success than the Clips so I can understand why most fans in LA ignore the Clippers. However, even when the Clips made the playoffs in 2006 for the first time in 13 years, no one cared. When Kobe was a free agent a few years ago, he considered an offer from the Clippers and people reacted as if he had considered an offer for the clap.
4) Texas A&M football (to Texas): This game is obviously huge in the state of Texas, but few people care about it nationally. It is the third longest-running rivalry in Division I-A football, but Texas has dominated the series (73-36-5). Most football fans around the nation would agree that Texas-Oklahoma is a bigger rivalry and a more important game -- often with national championship implications.
3) NC State basketball (to UNC and Duke basketball): This one falls into the "inferior but think they're equal" category. Most NC State fans think it is still 1974. David Thompson is not walking through that door. Even the fluke that was the 1983 national championship (I love Jimmy V but that team was not that good) does not keep State among the elite teams in the country 25 years later. I hate Duke and have a strong aversion to UNC, but -- as an objective observer -- those two programs shit on NC State. Herb Sendak brought modest yet productive results as the coach of the Wolfpack, but the fans did not embrace him because he brought no Final 4 appearances. Sendak jumped ship for Arizona State (who could blame him) and the school's "national" coaching search went nowhere. Did they really expect John Calipari to come to Raleigh and have to recruit on Tobacco Road? They settled for Sidney Lowe -- he led them to an improbable ACC tournament run in 2007, but the high expectations for 2008 were quickly turned into disappointment and whispers about Lowe's job security. I would like to see Lowe turn the program around, but it is time for the fans to lower their expectations. An ACC title is a more reasonable goal than a national championship at this point in time.
2) Phil Mickelson (to El Tigre): Most golf fans would agree that Phil is the 2nd best golfer in the world and has been for the last decade. He is certainly capable of winning a tournament even if Tiger is in the field -- as long as he is not paired in the same group with Tiger and as long as Tiger is not in contention on Sunday. Also, memo to the next Ryder Cup captain: don't pair Tiger and Phil in the same twosome. They don't like each other and are too competitive even when on the same team. Not only is Tiger better than Phil at golf, he is also mentally stronger. Phil should see some success this year since Tiger is out with a knee injury.
1) Chicago White Sox (to Chicago Cubs): Talk about no respect. This is the same White Sox team that won the 2005 World Series (and the same Cubs team that last won the World Series in 1908). I would guess that the Cubs are the third most popular baseball team in the country (behind Yanks and Red Sox). I would also guess that the White Sox are a distant second most popular team in Chicago. I have heard nonstop talk about the Cubs' success this year. I only knew that the White Sox were winning their division because I looked up the standings after their trade for Ken Griffey, Jr. Speaking of that trade, don't you think the media would have made a bigger deal about the trade if Griffey went to the Cubs? Me too.
I am sure I inadvertently left out many inferiority complexes in sports. Let me know what I missed. Does anyone read this blog?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
