Thursday, July 31, 2008

Revisiting a 2001 Post from The Onion

I am working on some good blogs that I will post next week when I have more time. For now, enjoy this classic post from The Onion in 2001.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33426

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Drew Carey Was the Right Choice -- No Pun Intended


How do you replace a legend like Bob Barker? I assumed The Price is Right would be canceled the day Bob Barker retired. But then what would senior citizens and kids on summer vacation watch at 11 AM? SportsCenter for the third time? The View? Let's hope not.

So, once the decision was made to continue the program, the difficult selection process began. Do you hire someone with game show experience? An actor? Someone similar to Bob Barker or someone completely different? I heard rumors about George Hamilton (actor with the same tan as Bob), John O'Hurley (J. Peterman on Seinfeld, also has hosting experience from the Family Feud), and Rosie O'Donnell. Those options did not do anything for me (especially Rosie). Drew Carey was an intriguing possibility because he was a moderately well-known actor/comedian. Who knew he was even interested in the job?

Yet even when Drew Carey was selected, I doubted that he or anyone could live up to the standard set by Bob Barker. I still believe that is true, but I have been impressed with Carey so far. I have only seen about 10 episodes since Drew took over in October (having a job sucks), but you can tell he is having fun with it. He is energetic, funny, and most importantly, nothing like Bob Barker. He is doing it his own way, rather than trying to emulate Barker.

Future senior citizens and future elementary school-aged couch potatoes will never know Bob Barker -- but they can still enjoy The Price is Right (and multiple AARP and life insurance commercials) every weekday at 11 AM.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Good riddance, Billy Packer

I have never been a fan of Jim Nantz, but I will admit he has an announcer's voice. Nantz's play-by-play performance in March Madness is generally satisfactory. The guy was born to announce the Masters. I think most people would agree that Billy Packer is not a good basketball analyst. Color commentators are paid to give insights and maybe even opinions, but no one cares about Packer's opinion anymore (not sure if anyone ever did). The game has passed him by. He has ruffled too many feathers and burned too many bridges. His basketball knowledge is vast, but his announcing skills leave much to be desired. How has he been retained to cover 34 consecutive Final Fours? As Barry Horn of the Dallas Morning News recently wrote: "As the years passed ... he grew overbearing, arrogant, condescending, dismissive and petulant. There is only so much anyone can take from a know-it-all uncle who humorlessly preaches he is the smartest man in the room. Most viewers have long had their fill of Packer."

CBS finally made the right call and announced that the network and Packer reached an "agreement" that he will not announce any more college basketball games for the network. CBS announced that Clark Kellogg will be Packer's replacement -- not a bad choice but why no love for Bill Raftery or Gus Johnson?

I will not miss Packer calling Allen Iverson a "tough little monkey" or arguing with coaches and NCAA Tournament selection chairs about seeding and the amount of mid-majors in the Big Dance. I saw a recent interview with Packer, in which he contended he had never seen YouTube. Ironically, I found the below videos on YouTube that illustrate why I do not like this man -- or at least do not like him as an announcer.








(After Packer announced that the game was "over" with 27 minutes to go, UNC cut the lead to 4 -- although they did lose).

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Slash's Real Name is Saul Hudson



Think about the last time someone asked you what type of music you listen to. I bet you didn’t have a very specific answer. In fact, I bet you either said “everything,” “everything except country,” or “everything except rap.” Generally, the person asking you about your musical inclinations does not know you very well. Thus, you would feel like a jackass going into a five-minute response breaking down the differences between emo and alternative rock or trying to explain that Blind Melon is the most underrated band of the 90s. It’s just easier to say everything.
I enjoy music more than most people, but I am selective about what I like. Music snob is not the right word to describe me, but your favorite band does suck. I am especially picky with new music – I probably like less than 10% of new music that has come out in the last decade. I have above-average musical knowledge, especially with respect to the music I listen to. I know that Stealer’s Wheel – not Bob Dylan – sings “Stuck in the Middle with You.” I know that Pearl Jam named their first album Ten because that was the number of their favorite basketball player, Mookie Blaylock (the band’s original name was “Mookie Blaylock” until they were forced to change it over trademark issues). For whatever reason, I know that Saul Hudson is Slash’s (former Guns N’ Roses guitarist) real name. I usually tell inquirers that I prefer classic rock because I would look like a giant douche if I spouted out all of the above-mentioned information. Truthfully, classic rock is one of many types of music I like. I like jam bands, but not as much as I did in college. I like modern rock, but not as much as I did during the grunge years of the early to mid 90s. I like reggae much more now than I did before I discovered Peter Tosh. I like rap, but 90% of the rap I listen to is from before 2000. I choose not to celebrate Michael Bolton’s entire catalog. Would you assume I did if I said I listened to everything?

This dilemma illustrates why I enjoy the challenge of music trivia but hate being asked what kinds of music I like. I cannot rationalize a satisfactory answer to that question. In an effort to better answer the inevitable question, I have broken down my evolving musical tastes over the years. I will probably still tell the next person that asks that I listen to mainly classic rock, but at least I will know the more specific answer. The following is my musical preferences of the last 26 years:

1981-1983: Lullabies.

1984-1986: Sesame Street.

1987-1991: Exclusively oldies. I remember someone in my 4th grade class asked me what my favorite Metallica song was and I said “Nine Inch Nails.”

1992-1995: Modern rock / alternative – mostly Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots, and Soundgarden. I’m not ashamed to admit that the Spin Doctors’ “Pocket Full of Kryptonite” was my first CD. There was a 6-month span when I only listened to Nirvana. During these years, I also discovered Guns N’ Roses and realized what all the buzz was about when “Appetite for Destruction” buried hair band rock and paved the way for grunge (while I was listening to doo-wop groups). I would be lying if I said I never listened to Salt-n-Pepa and similar artists frequently showcased on Z104’s Top 9 at 9 during this phase, but alternative rock was my main interest (along with wearing surf and skate shirts even though I was never a skater or surfer -- POSER!).

1995-1999: Still listened to alternative, but started branching out to rap, classic rock, and softer rock like Dave Matthews Band and Blues Traveler. My mix tapes were random during this time – they could go from Blink 182 to Wu-Tang to K-Ci and JoJo to Kid Rock.

2000-2004: The college years brought out old and new jam bands – Grateful Dead, Widespread Panic, Phish, String Cheese Incident, etc. I gave up most of the alternative rock. I was really into O.A.R. for a semester until I realized you could be publicly ridiculed for admitting you liked them. I soon realized that O.A.R. was in fact mega-lame. Napster helped me discover a lot of new bands during the college years and saved me hundreds of dollars. One lame co-ed had the audacity to call me a “studio hippie” because most of the Widespread (she probably called them “Panic”) songs on my Napster were album versions rather than live tunes from concerts (she probably called them “shows”). Needless to say, that comment did not go over well with me.

2004-present: I pretty much listen to everything. Just kidding. If I broke down my musical preferences it would be as follows: 20% classic rock (Zeppelin, Stones, The Band, The Faces, Van Morrison, Grateful Dead, Allman Brothers, Bob Segar, Clapton, etc.), 10% bands that sound like classic rock bands (Black Crowes, Blind Melon, Bruce Hornsby), 10% 90s rap (2Pac, Dr. Dre, Nas, Wu-Tang, etc.), 10% reggae (Peter Tosh, Bob Marley, Toots and the Maytals, etc.), 10% modern rock (Pearl Jam, My Morning Jacket, Kings of Leon, The White Stripes, etc.), 10% new alternative/alt country (Radiohead, Death Cab for Cutie, Bishop Allen, Wilco, Ryan Adams), 10% 80s music (Steve Winwood, Huey Lewis, Journey, dozens of others), 10% motown (Temptations, Al Green, Smokey Robinson, etc.), and 10% new funk rock (Robert Randolph, Mofro, Citizen Cope). I would throw Widespread into one or more of these categories, but I can no longer list jam bands as a separate category.

In closing, I’m glad that only about a half dozen people read my blog because that stream of consciousness answer is quite possibly lamer than being THAT GUY who says he listens to everything.