I wrote about this subject a few years ago, but I have updated and expanded my hopeless sports outlook. Spoiler alert: my favorite teams still suck...
Some people are hopeless romantics. I am a hopeless sports fan. My favorite teams find new and seemingly impossible ways to lose every year. I am so used to mediocrity that I started to feel guilty when one of my favorite teams won a championship – so much so that this particular team is no longer my favorite. This is my story…
University of Virginia
I attended Hampden-Sydney College, a small liberal arts college in Virginia that plays Division III sports, but my dad went to UVA so I have been a fan of the “Hoos” since as early as I can remember. Unfortunately, I was born in 1981 and am not old enough to remember Ralph Sampson.
I would like to think I’d still be a UVA fan even if I had gone to another school with Division I sports, but it was easy to remain a UVA fan since I went to a D-III school. Sometimes people say to me, “but you didn’t go to UVA.” First of all, I’m cheering for the athletic teams, not for the ranking of the academic institution in U.S. News & World Report. More importantly, for the most part is it not fun to be a UVA fan. I didn’t ask for this pain and suffering. I’m not “that guy” who roots for Duke basketball and Alabama football (but none of the other sports). Being a UVA fan brings far more sorrow than enjoyment – at least when it comes to revenue-generating sports. If you want national championships in soccer, lacrosse, rowing, and tennis, then UVA is your team. On the other hand, UVA basketball and football – with a few exceptions* – have been an embarrassment of epic proportions over the last 20 years.
(*UVA basketball is currently 23-5 overall and 14-1 in the ACC, but longtime UVA fans are still cautiously pessimistic about the team's ACC Tournament and Final Four chances)
UVA fans got spoiled in the 90s and started to grumble that a Sweet 16 trip in hoops and a 7-4 football season capped off with a middle-of-the-road bowl game just didn’t cut it. These days, a trip to a bowl game sponsored by a mortgage company or a low-end department store and an invitation to a March Madness play-in game would be cause for celebration in Charlottesville.
A perfect illustration of the heartbreak UVA fans endure is the 1990 football season. The Hoos were 7-0 and ranked #1 in the nation for the first (and still the only) time in school history when they played Georgia Tech at home. Down 3 points in the 4th quarter, UVA had two illegal procedure penalties inside of the Georgia Tech 1-yard line, the second of which nullified a touchdown. UVA settled for a game-tying field goal with two and a half minutes left. Georgia Tech went on win 41-38 on a game-winning field goal en route to a co-national championship. The loss started a downward spiral for the Hoos that culminated with squandering a 16-0 lead against Tennessee in the Sugar Bowl and a disappointing 8-4 finish.
And those were the golden years. Is it lax season yet?
Detroit Lions
I have no connection to Detroit, but in 1990 I randomly decided to become a Detroit Lions fan even though just about all of my friends were Redskins fans. Of course, the Redskins won the Super Bowl in 1992 so Redskins fans should be thankful that I did not declare my allegiance to the gold and burgundy in 1990. I have no idea why I chose the Lions, but Detroit drafted UVA wide receiver Herman Moore in 1991 so the decision made more sense at that point.
In my lifetime, the Lions have exactly one playoff win. They have never been to a Super Bowl. They usually ruin my Thanksgiving. Calvin Johnson will likely end up being considered a top 5 receiver of all-time, and halfway through his career he has managed to play in one playoff game. The Lions failed to win their division this season despite serious injuries to division rivals Aaron Rodgers and Jay Cutler. Nonetheless, I have a good feeling about next year – which is probably a recipe for a letdown.
Boston Red Sox
This is where things get strange. When I was growing up in Virginia, the closest major league baseball team was the Baltimore Orioles, but I was always more of a Cal Ripken fan than an Orioles fan. During a family vacation to Boston in 1995, I went to three games at Fenway, and it was a life-changing experience. I instantly became a Red Sox fan.
At the time, of course, the Red Sox had not won a title since 1918. Keep in mind that the Sox didn’t have Nomar, Manny, or Big Papi back then (Nomar was called up in 1996). Mo Vaughn was probably the best player on the ’95 team. Boston was usually a playoff team, but it’s not as if I were hopping on a bandwagon. It wasn’t as if I had become a Yankees fan in 2000 after they had won four of the last five World Series (as many people did). In fact, the Red Sox missed the playoffs in five of the first eight seasons of my fandom. The heartbreak of the 2003 ALCS and Aaron F’ing Boone felt real to me. The improbable comeback against the Yankees in the 2004 ALCS and subsequent World Series victory was the first championship I had ever experienced as a fan– at age 23. I enjoyed the 2004 MLB postseason more than any other that I can remember.
But then something unexpected happened: I started to feel guilty.
Sure, I had been a Sox fan for nine years, but I didn’t feel like a real Bostonian. I felt as if I didn’t deserve to celebrate as much as lifelong Sox fans. Even worse, after the 2004 World Series, I hated when people asked me my favorite baseball team. I wasn’t“that guy” who buys the new lid as soon as a new team wins a championship, but I felt like him.
Despite my winner’s guilt, I remained a Red Sox fan. I should have been ecstatic that the Sox brought another World Series title back to Beantown in 2007, but my jubilation was outweighed by a sense that I was being thrown off the bandwagon. I was happy to see Boston win yet another title in 2013, and I was rooting for them in the World Series, but ever since 2007 I have been cheering for a team that better fits my personality, my sensibility, and my ever-present yearning to be disappointed by all of my favorite teams.
Washington Nationals
I am a Nats fan for two reasons: 1) they are the closest team to my current home of Richmond and 2) my favorite player Ryan Zimmerman played at UVA. All you need to know about why rooting for this team perpetuates my status as a hopeless sports fan is the following: in 2012, the Nats not only made the playoffs but also had the best record in MLB and home field advantage throughout the entire playoffs (thanks to a National League All-Star win). However, the Nats decided to shut down their best pitcher (Stephen Strasburg) just prior to the playoffs and lost in the deciding game of the divisional series (after giving up 4 runs in the last inning). Strasburg came back fresh in 2013…and the Nats missed the playoffs. Sounds about right.
Dear UVA, Detroit Lions, and Washington Nationals, it’s not you, it’s me. Actually, it’s you. But I know the bubbly is going to taste sweet when if we get that elusive championship one of these days. And there will be no winner’s guilt next time.
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